


In Memory of Our Love

by 100Faults



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Boys' Love, Confessions, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Crushing, Crying, Dark, Dating, Death, Drama, F/F, F/M, Family, Feelings, Female Relationships, Flashbacks, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Gay, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Incest, Kissing, Love, M/M, Multi, Plot, Relationship(s), Romance, Sexual Content, Trauma, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-01-07 07:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100Faults/pseuds/100Faults
Summary: An unexpected friendship is born in dark times that bring peace to many in the future, but themselves. Destiny works in strange ways, but it leads to Okumura Rin and Fujimoto Yukio back into each other's arms.





	1. "Not knowing is Buddha"

♡ ♡ ♡

 

 **If you hated** the color white it'd be best to steer clear of this room, as it was cluttered with various white objects. White walls, white bed sheets, white gowns, white tables. Even the woman that I held onto was just as pale as me.

Although, there were a few things that popped out from the room such as the dead brown leaf colors coating the walls, or the stone floor, or the black window facing them. It was much more comforting knowing that white wasn't the only thing in the room, but the window is the only thing I hated. Well, more like the eyes peering through the window.

I knew men in lab coats stood behind that glass with wide eyes staring intently into the room, watching and writing our every move. But they didn't know I could see right through it, if they did, they'd take me away. The thought always made my chest tighten with anxiety.

My arms squeezed the woman and my head rested on her chest like a pillow. _I didn't want to be taken away from her_ , I thought as she stroked my hair. I stole a glance at her and the worry swelling in my chest started to fade.

The woman appeared as if she were asleep and her hair was tied back with random locks sticking out. Her skin was speckled with moles on her face; one doting above her brow, two directly under her eyes, and one under her lower lip. She also bold numbers that seemed to have been stitched to her neck, but I never asked her about it.

I had to fight a smile from coming onto my face at the thought of being her tiny reflection.

Her eyes opened to reveal grey-green eyes staring lazily down to me and my ears went hot. "Yukio," she started, squinting down to him as a softened smile came onto her face. "What are you doing?"

Her voice sounded like sandpaper scraping along her throat, but she didn't seem to complain. "Oh, um. . ." I dropped my gaze and clenched parts of her gown gently as I murmured ". . . I was just thinking. . ." A gentle laugh escaped her lips and her fingers caught a knot in my hair.

"You're always thinking, huh." I could feel her tugging at the small knot, taking her time to untie the ball of hair as she spoke. "When will you give that mind of yours a rest, hmm?"

"How-how-how can I not," I said. "There is a lot of stuff to-to-to think of. Like-like. . ." I thought for a moment, filing through my mind to find something interesting.

Then I pulled one out that made my heart pump with excitement. "Like how to become a doctor!" I abruptly pushed myself up and my small hands held me up as I started contently at her.

"You're always sick, so-so-so I will become a doctor when I grow up and heal-heal you!" Her green orbs widened and for a moment they looked just like marbles-- a fire lighting in them before it was blown out. Her smile grew and she cupped my cheek in the palm of her cold hand.

"Oh Yukio. . ." her voice was full of defeat and I felt like I was being foolish. _Maybe I was being foolish. . ._ "Oh no, don't look sad, honey. I didn't say 'no' did I?"

"It sure-sure did sound like it. . ." The back of my eyes started to burn and I bit my lip harshly as I dropped my gaze. She stroked my cheek with her thumb and gave a quiet sigh.

"Yukio, I'm not trying to say you can't be a doctor, but, instead of being a doctor for me. . ." My ears perked up but I didn't look her way, afraid I'd see pity in her eyes. ". . . be _**!#$*?!**_ doctor, okay. . ?"

I swallowed thickly and focused my gaze back onto her, only to see her eyes blissfully closed. "Mom. . ." I said shakingly, refusing to let myself stutter. "I. . . I'll do everything to protect him!"

"I'll give him medicine and-and-and keep him away from bad people!" The woman I referred to as my mother laughed full heartedly, her grin beaming rays of gold at me. My brow rose with confusion and questions stirred in me, _was she laughing at me?_

"Hah hah, I don't know how Shiro doesn't see himself in you. . ." _Ah_ , my cheeks flared and heat rushed to them quickly in a matter of seconds. I guess my look of surprise must've gotten her to spill a bit more because she kept going.

"He's always saying things like 'Yuri, are you sure that's my kid? He looks nothing like me,' and 'He's not even as reckless like me.' But I always tell him 'Don't forget he's also me kid.~'"

Yuri breathed heavily and started to wheeze but she slowly came to stopping, looking back at me with swollen eyes. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I promise that you won't grow up here, ok? I'll take you to America and everything will be ok, _I promise_."

My lips curved up from the corners and I gave her a big smile. "Mhm," I hummed, nodding my head. We stared at each other in silence and she exhaled deeply.

"I love you, Yukio, don't you ever forget that."

But just like wet paper, my world was torn into two and everything fell into the blackness.

 

 

 

My eyes fluttered open and I noticed how my breathing was heavy and frantic. Light spilled through the curtains, dimming the frigid room and giving it a cozy feeling. This was my favorite time of day when everyone else was still asleep, and all you could hear were the birds from outside and other gentle noises from within your home.

The silence was enjoyable and made me sluggish. If I had a choice to spend the rest of my life like this, I gladly choose it over anything any day. My eyelids begun to weigh and gradually started to fall once again.

 _Maybe Shura would just let me sleep in. . ._ I groaned as I turned over onto my other side, furrowing my brows. _And have her yell at me this early?_

I reluctantly stood up, stretching my arms to remove the tense muscles in them. Yawning, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and started out of bed, slipping a pair of sandals on. Subconsciously, I made my way around the mattress to open the olive-green curtains that shielded the light from the rest of my room.

There was a tiny space behind the curtains that revealed a window taking up the top portion of the wall and under it, two cushioned white chairs attached to either side of the walls. Although I didn't have time to relax in them, I still savored being able to look outside. The view wasn't breathtaking, but you could see the sunrise climbing the horizon line from between two buildings.

It was such a simple small thing and I loved it, nothing surprising and just normal. Running a hand through my brown locks of hair, I looked over to my right to see a desk that was pressed against the wall. It had a neat stack of books in one corner and another perfect stack of papers next to it.

Although, I wasn't interested in my perfect organization skills but rather on my horrific vision. My hands glided along the framing of the dark wooden table, and my fingers danced around my spectacles. I took hold of them and put them on, my eyesight no longer a blur of color.

A soft knock at my door made my ears perk up and my eyes darted over to it. However, before I could give the knock acknowledgment, the door flew open and a woman entered the room. "Yukio, wake up-- Shiro's growing more grey hairs by the second and he's being an ass."

I furrowed my brows at the busty woman, her fire-like hair tied back into a messy pony-tail. "Opening the door without me saying anything just defeats the purpose of knocking in the first place, Shura." The said woman rolled her pink eyes as she leaned against the door frame.

"Oh please, at least I knocked, didn't I?" I sighed heavily and started for her, but stopped at my wardrobe.

"Is privacy not a thing in your world?" Shura barked a laugh and gave me a wide grin.

"Hah! _Privacy?_ Yukio, there is no such thing as privacy in this household." I grabbed a black school uniform along with other necessities and laid them out onto my bed. My eyes traced them to double check I wasn't missing anything and my brows furrowed when I couldn't find the True Cross's pendant.

I started to search the closest again, pulling the shelves from the top to see if I found anything. "Shura, _please_ ," I strained the word, please. There was nothing but papers and books in the top drawers.

I pulled out the bottoms drawer and started to shuffle through them, the redhead making her way over to me. She looked over my shoulder and watched me look through the messy boxes. "You know," she started.

"For such a control freak, you've got some pretty ass messy drawers." My hands felt around a cold object from inside the drawers and I pulled it out, thinking I had found the pendant, but I only found a cross. It was a silver budded cross that was the same size as my palm with letters embedded into it.

"Oh," Shura said, reading the name on the cross as well. "Don't let Shiro see you with that." I nodded my head and squeezed it, biting my lip.

"I know. . ." I dropped it around my neck and continued to look through the drawer. Eventually, I found the pendant, it's blue and red colors sparkling against the silver. I stood back up and grabbed my clothing, seeing Shura eye my neck cautiously.

"I'm serious, four-eyes, Shiro thought you lost that thing months ago." I rolled my own eyes at her as I walked past her and down the hallway. She followed me out and tailed me, her gaze burning into the back of my head.

I shook my head and tilted it back ever so slightly. "Shura, I promise you that I won't let him know that I kept it." I focused my gaze ahead of me once again, my eyes tempted to glance down at the said cross.

It had started to cause trouble with Shiro every time he saw me wearing it. He looked so frustrated and hurt when he did see it, but he'd never tell me why. _Maybe it has to do with the name engraved into it?_

" _Rin Okumura. . ._ " I whispered under my breath as I stopped at the end of the hall. "Who do you think it is?"

Shura raised a brow, her hands shoved deep into her pockets. "You've asked me so many times and what have I told you every time?" I looked away from her, disappointment and questions stirring inside of me.

"I know, but. . . I was just hoping maybe you've met them before and just don't remember. Dad sure doesn't like it when I bring them up."

Shura took a deep breath in and shrugged her shoulders, looking back as if Shiro were patrolling the area. "You know how Shiro can be."

" _Stubborn_ ," we both said in unison. We laughed softly and she gave me a gentle smile. "Ah, don't stress yourself over it this early."

"Get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs." I dipped my head and opened the door that led into the bathroom. It wasn't anything too special and it was quite small, but I don't think a monastery would have an elegant bathroom either.

I finished up in the restroom quickly and left with the clothing from the night before in my hands. I dropped it off back in my room and the bedroom had gotten a lot brighter, the sun obviously starting to rise higher. I smiled at the thought and left the room.

As I started back down the hall to make my way downstairs, a man suddenly left his room and his coco eyes met mine. He also had spiky blonde hair that seemed to be more on the browner side. Although, he lit up when he saw me.

"Good morning Yukio!"

"Good morning, Izumi," I returned with a gentle wave and kept on walking, the other walking off. Izumi was one of the priests that helped around the monastery, and he was quite an energetic person. Maybe too much for me, but I enjoyed his company at times.

Once I made my way downstairs, I heard the front door open as laughter followed it, two other men walking by. They stopped to greet me, the two of them saying "Good morning, Fujimoto." I chuckled and dipped my head, returning the saying.

"Good morning, Maruta and Kyodo, where were the two of you?" Maruta, the heavier of the two with his distinctive hair curl on his forehead and Kyodo, the tanner one with a strong built to his face, both looked at me with tired demeanors.

"Shiro gave the two of us a grocery list to go shopping for him," Maruta said, Kyodo crossing his arms over his chest.

"Don't listen to him, Fujimoto, Shiro just asked for us to restock on holy bullets and other things we're running low on." I held my chin and dropped my gaze to the floor, running through the list of supplies in my head.

"Hmm. . . I believe the other day I made an order for a few herbs I'm playing to show my exwires next week, do you mind picking them up for me?" They both nodded and waved me off, as I did as well, continuing to the kitchen. Once I finally got there, I could hear three voices struggling and I couldn't stop myself grinning.

When I stepped into the room, I saw my black sling bag slouching in one of the seats and my father, along with Shura and Seishiro, both cluttered around the stove. "I'm telling ya' that's not how ya' fry fish!!" Shura shouted before there was a sizzle, crack, and pop causing her to shriek and jump back.

"Shiro, you're going to burn the damn church down!" Another man said, most likely from Seishiro. I started for the small section that divided the kitchen from the dining room and knocked on the wall, catching their attention.

All three heads turned back to face me and they all gave me dumbfounded looks, "I would say good morning, but it seems you all aren't having the best morning." Shura rolled her eyes once again while Seishiro sighed.

"Good morning to you as well, Yukio." Shiro tossed whatever he was holding off to Shura, the woman grabbing it as she shot him a heated glare.

"You're a woman, you cook this thing," the oldest of the three told her, her eyes widening before she pushed herself against him.

"Are you asking me to be your personal housewife~?" Shiro groaned and Seishiro eyed Shura with dissatisfaction, while I, forced the heat in my cheeks to stay down. _Housewives weren't terrible, I wouldn't mind marrying one._

But I kept the thought to myself and chuckled, the brown-hair headed male stepping between the two. "Please, Ms. Kirigakure, this is the home of the Lord." Shura barked a laugh and shot a heated glare at Seishiro.

"Please, I _am_ the Lord, so get on yer' knees and start to pray if ya' don't want to end up like this lil' fish," she shot out hotly, Shiro pulling my shoulder and leading me out of the kitchen. He laughed full heartedly and sat in one of the chairs.

"Those two are a handful," he said exhaustedly while I joined him.

I laughed and shook my head, my eyes glancing down to his neck to see a few numbers poking out. "Dad, your mark," I said, one of his brows rising as he looked at the faded mark. He sighed and pulled his collar from the priest cassock up, blocking it off.

"I would've hoped you wouldn't have noticed it, it's fading you know?" I nodded my head, rubbing my own neck wryly. Then, the sudden thought of the woman from my dream came back to me, but the entire dream had become like a distant memory.

 _Ugh. . . I should've written it down somewhere. . ._ I exhaled heavily before looking back at my father, the man obviously going off about something, but I hadn't been paying attention. "--so we started making a fried fish, but it was like the damn thing was still alive because when we put it in the pan, the soldier started to bounce with life!"

"Nearly got my cross out to start exercising it." I let a pity chuckle leave me before silence fell over us for a moment. "Fish are not creatures you want to mess with."

"Dad," I started, sighing. "Yuri was--" I saw him tense "--in my dream again, but this time, she had markings on her neck as well." The noise from inside the kitchen fell and I could feel the tension in the small space starting to suffocate me.

"I was wondering if. . . You knew anything about it because you have the same marking on your neck as well." Shiro stared at me with an aloof expression, his eyes closing for a moment.

He leaned back in the chair and I could feel disappointment to start bubbling in me. "Well, Yukio. . ." he started, my brows furrowing. "Yuri does mean lily, maybe we should put some in your room, hah hah."

I opened my mouth to speak but bit my tongue. _I hated it when he did this. He's never serious when I talk to him about this kind of thing, just who was she?_

Suddenly, Shura stepped into the dining room area with a plate and a burnt fish on it. "Breakfast has arrived," she said proudly, setting the plate in front of me before Seishiro followed her.

"The kitchen smells awful, Shiro, I think we need--" Shura grabbed my hand, cutting my focus off of Seishiro as he spoke to Shiro.

"Yukio," she whispered, my palms sweating as I stared at her with confusion. "Don't waste your time."

I felt my heart sink, but she was right. Shura and I both knew how Shiro handled these kinds of situations, but a part of me always hoped he'd just give up and tell me. She pulled back and placed her hands on her hips, looking at me with a completely different expression.

"Well, get eating! I made it with all my love~." I smiled at her and gave the fish a worried glance, before pushing myself out of the chair.

"I think I'll just grab something on my way to True Cross, but thank you so much Shura," I said and I knew the woman didn't care. Although, she gave me an offended look and placed her hand on her chest before dramatically grabbing Shiro's shoulder.

"Is it so much to ask for a little bit of gratitude in this household? Oh no, I think I might faint. Catch me, Shiro," she said as she started to weigh her body down onto Shiro's hands, but the man struggled to push her off.

"Shura, don't you dare!" I chuckled at the two and grabbed my bag and swiftly left the area, heading for the back door of the monastery, seeing how the front was a chapel. I grabbed the knob and turned my head to look back at my home.

"Goodbye, everyone!" I shouted, a few seconds passing by before I heard multiple voices bid me farewell. I felt my face soften and I glanced down, seeing the budded cross hiding inside my uniform. 

"Let's go, Rin."

 

 

The sun enveloped me in a nice warmth that felt nice with the gentle breeze that seemed to be getting stuck in my locks of hair. Other students from other schools also started to walk by and they all had a colorful selection of uniforms. I spotted middle-schoolers and high-schoolers running about through the city streets, although, seeing how school wasn't starting for another hour or two, it made perfect sense to seem them all. 

However, some juniors ran around with newspapers in their hands as they tried selling them off to other students. The youthful journalists all competed with each other, all of them shouting catchy titles that would be certain to grab the attention of some students. But I didn't have time to waste with their childish news, True Cross was quite the journey away.

So that's why one student just had to flaunt out false information that grabbed my ears. "Emperor suggests bringing exorcist into the war?! Pick up over here!!"

I stopped in my tracks and tilted my head back to the voice, seeing that it was only a junior so desperately trying to hand out his copies. Although, the other teens laughed and kept walking on, making small remarks that my ears hadn't caught before. _Why would our King bring exorcists and demons into the war?_

My feet unconsciously moved toward the boy, but I jumped when I felt my arm being pulled at and away from the journalist. "Hey, what are you--!"

"Come on, teach, you aren't seriously going to believe that kid?" I darted my eyes back to my abductor and his exhausted expression made my brows furrow. I snatched my hand from my student's grip, his brown eyes closing with a cheeky smile.

"Of course not, Shima-kun. I wouldn't waste my time like that," I shot back, gripping my bag tightly as I strolled past him

He chuckled and tailed me, eyeing the other female freshmen with greedy eyes. I sighed and shook my head, Shima being quite a troublesome person. "Bon and Koneko told me they were meeting me up here, but I slept in-- and it's a good thing."

I raised a brow and tilted my gaze to him, seeing the teen with his hands behind his head. "I got to run into you and I stopped you from spending nearly two-hundred yen!" I rolled my eyes, my pace quickening. 

"Shima-kun, I already told you I wasn't going to waste my time." 

He groaned and dropped his head, gazing at me with a bored aura leaving him. "Don't be so formal, teach. Just call me Renzo," he suggested, my eyes narrowing onto him. 

"I'm not calling you ' _Renzo_.' I'll just refer to you as Shima while we're out of classes. . ." Annoyance was heavily in my tone, but I didn't want to get used to calling him 'Renzo' or that would throw off my entire sense of respect. 

_At least I thought so._

Shima was silent for a moment and I savored it for as long as I could, but it wasn't long enough before he hummed a yes. "Ah, what the hell. I'll take it."

 _"Thank god."_

"What?"

"What?"

From the corner of my eye, I could see Shima staring at me with a puzzled look on his face before I spotted a pair of familiar students, sighing with relief. "Aren't those your friends?" I saw one man with a well-built frame and a blonde streak running through his hair, while the other male had a bald, thin shape.

They appeared as polar opposites. 

"Hey. . ." Shima squinted his eyes at the two before they went wide. "Hey, that is them! Bon, Koneko! Look who I found!" The said males broke their eyes off the bulletin board to meet our gazes.

They both looked pleasantly surprised to see me, Koneko pushing his thick red glasses back onto his face. "Ah, good morning Fujimoto-Sensei, it's good to see you this early." I nodded my head at his greeting, the other, Ryuji, repeating the same.

"Thank you for returning Shima back to us, we couldn't find him this morning so we just went on without him." Shima pouted and the action caused me to bite back a laugh, just to keep my serious demeanor. "Actually, we could use your help."

I raised a brow and Ryuji gestured his hand to the board, Koneko nervously glancing away from me back to it. Scanning the board in a speedy manner, my eyebrows furrowed together and I held my chin, not understanding what it meant. "Do you know what it's talking about?"

Shima read the board at his own pass, Koneko helping him with a few words and what they meant. "A junior was trying to sell newspapers of it early this morning. He said the emperor was going to start recruiting exorcists for the war."

I told Ryuji, the man rubbing his eyes tiredly. I understood his exhausted sigh, everyone was so sick of this war that was overseas. It'd been going on for years now and neither side had won yet.

 _Well_ , I caught myself. _A king never looses, so it's already obvious that we'd win._ But a part of me was second-guessing myself as if there was some sort of resent towards my own emperor.

_Why trust him? He hasn't done anything good nor has he even won the war yet. What a lousy king._

_**I'm sure I'd make a better one.** _

"Fujimoto?" I was jerked out of my mind, feeling the shirt on me starting to become too tight and my breathing heavy. "Are you alright," the tanner of the three questioned, my eyes darting left and right.

"Of course, forgive me. It's just-- the news has me stressed," I lied, forcing a laugh out of me to try to lighten the situation. Although, it seemed like they bought it because Koneko perked his head up with interest.

"That's right, your father is the current Paladin, isn't he? It'd only make sense for you to worry for his safety." _Well, now that you've told me, I guess I have something else to stress about._

 _Hah, my pile just keeps growing, doesn't it?_ I dipped my head anxiously and rubbed my neck wryly, looking off to the side. "Was it that obvious?"

Koneko chuckled shyly and Ryuji's face twisted into distress. "How low does our emperor have to go if he's rounding up our families without their choice. . ." Everyone's gazes fell onto the male lost in thought, his expression clear of worry.

 _That's right, Suguro's and Shima's family are also exorcists. . ._ Koneko rubbed his friend's arm with care, Shima rubbing his back. "Don't stress about it, Bon," Shima started.

"I'm sure his Majesty would let the exorcist choose whether they'd want to go or not." Koneko finished, giving him a reassuring smile. I felt my heart throb with a heart.

I went to rub off the pain, but the feeling of metal through my shirt stopped me. "His Majesty also let all of his people be tested on like rats." My eyes darted over to Ryuji, Shima sighing as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Bon, that was almost sixteen years ago and our emperor didn't know anything about it. Most of them fled to America, so they're basically traitors." My brows rose and for a moment I thought the information had sparked something in me, but it quickly died.

 _What was that?_ I shook my head and before Ryuji could respond, I spoke up first. "Well," I started."

"I might as well get going, I have to catch some work before classes start." I bid them farewell and they did the same. 

"See you in class, Fujimoto," Koneko said. 

I smiled and started off, digging out the budded cross only to squeeze it. "You know, Rin. . ." I said softly to myself. "I wish I could share my worries the same way Suguro could."

_"Then why not talk to me?"_

I came to an abrupt stop, shooting my head around in confusion and paranoia. _Was that just my head or did someone hear me?_ I stood still and for a moment, all I heard was the wind whispering in my ears.

" _God. . ._ " I groaned out sluggishly, rubbing the 'sleep' from my eyes. "I am to stressed." I shrugged it off and dropped my cross back under my coat, starting towards the True Cross building. 

_I can tell it's already going to be a looong day. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello everyone! after taking some time to finally take a break from writing and refine my plot, i've returned! i hope you enjoyed this chapter and for all the future ones that are yet to come! now, don't get your hopes up just quite yet. . . as you can see, it took me a great amount of time to come back and writing this one chapter has taken me a week or two to write. granted, i got distracted, but it's mostly because i'm still in school and my love for writing has finally returned to me, so writing between homework breaks stress relief me. so, with all of this in mind, regular updates is not a something i can promise till may 31st, which is my last day of school before summer break. now, i apologize for the lengthy note and i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	2. "Drunken Life, Dreamy Death"

♡ ♡ ♡

 

 **The sky was** painted in an array of warm colors that clashed against the smeared pastel pinks and blues. Cotton candy clouds that bloomed from the heavens slipped behind the horizon in a matter of seconds, and the crickets all came to life when the moon came out. The fresh smell of Earth with a hint of ice filled my lungs as I watched the sun falling down the sky.

I twisted a metallic cross through my fingers and it was warm from my grip. My hand felt sore and stiff, but regardless, I still held it close to me. My fingers traced all the crevices and chiseled features of it in a broken record manner.

_"Let's go, Rin."_

I squeezed the cross in my hands and took a deep breath in, refusing to let it go. The cross had called out my name earlier today, but now I could clearly tell it was him calling out to me. " _Yukio. . ._ " I whispered, hope swelling in my chest.

It had nearly been twelve years since I had last heard from him, and I feared I might never hear it again. _He's still out there_ , I thought, sighing with relief before closing my eyes and relaxing onto the dirt. It was like the weight of the moon had been hugging my back and finally, it had gone back up into the sky.

"Rin, are you gonna nap again? You sleep like a dead person." Izumo's voice boomed with accusation whilst I teasingly showed her my backside.

My tail whisked from side to side with smugness as I gestured my hand for her to leave me be. "Eyebrows, please, unlike you, I don't want to walk around with hundreds of bags under my brows. I need to keep my beauty or else the nurses will go mad." Izumo did a small 'hmph' before chuckling, one of my brows rising in confusion.

"I'm sorry, Rin, but ninety-percent of your 'beauty' can be wiped right off with a kleenex." I heard our blonde friend giggle quietly as she murmured comforts to me, but she should've saved them for Izumo. I yawned and my tail flicked itself at her as if it was trying to whack her.

"Sorry, the truth falls out of my mouth like bullshit falls out of yours." Shiemi snorted into her palm and Izumo's fiery tone suddenly died down into stuttered breaths.

I thought my smile could lift me off the ground and my struggling attempts to muffle my laughter failed. It encouraged Shiemi to also start laughing with me, my stomach easily starting to weigh with pain. Izumo's face was flushed with a hot red, giving her a pink tint as she stared wide-eyed at me.

"Sh-shut-- shut up! Baka! No one asked you!!" I sucked in a hard breath and between my wheezing, I fought to say:

"Y- your crazy is sh- showing, sweetheart. You might want to tuck that back in." A few moments of us just spitting insults back and forth like a tennis game went on forever, Shiemi in the back laughing harder at every point that was made.

After everyone had calmed down, Izumo had drifted off to the topic of our childhood, going on and on about our school lives. "Oh gosh, remember the first time we all met?!" She suddenly cried from out of nowhere, all of us laying down and gazing up to the starry sky.

"Ah, ah," Shiemi started. "I remember it strongly," she said, her _r's_ heavy and her _o's_ strong. "Reiji be awful much but Izumo and Rin help me."

Her Japanese wasn't the strongest, but Izumo and I didn't need to decipher what she was saying like a puzzle. My laugh was feather light and I glanced over to her, the woman's large green eyes looking back into my own. Her eyes tickled a warmth onto my cheeks and they doubled my pulse, but the night's cold kept it down.

Although, I couldn't let these feelings of mine float to the surface, or I'd break this entire circle. Especially Izumo. "Oh yeah, I remember for sure, how could I forget," I said.

"Izumo was practically preaching while Reiji looked about ready to throw a punch at her."

"Good thing you were there to throw one first," Izumo added in quickly, and I saw Shiemi's eyes soften. "I'm not sure what would've happened if you weren't there."

I shook my head and counted the stars as they blinked across the blue-void. "I was stupid and nearly _fried_ him." Izumo rolled over onto her stomach and bumped her fist into my arm, grinning wide at me.

"Hah! I wish you did! That would've been freakin' awesome!"

My mouth dropped into a frown and I hugged myself, counting the stars faster as a way to distract myself, but it didn't work.

I could vividly remember my hands quivering with power that day as I beat him into the ground. "I was out of control," I said suddenly.

An abrupt flip in my stomach gave me a queasy feeling that tightened my chest. Every ounce of my skin was burning and my flames pressed kisses into everything around me with no sense of personal space. The pounding in my head that day was so loud with hysterical emotions buzzing in my ears.

_Oh god._

The shirt I wore tightened around me and it was like I forgot how to breathe. I wish I could forget it all, everything. The fear that rushed through my veins like blood had me horrified of my own reflection.

I pressed my eyes shut and I didn't notice how tense I had become; my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth and my brows furrowed as my jaw was sore from the stiffness. There was once a place where I lived in, where I was born in, and in there I couldn't hurt anyone. _I should've stayed in there, even if mom wanted me to run._

_At least there I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone._

My thoughts paused. I opened my eyes slowly, tightening the hug I had on myself. _But, Yukio. . ._

"Rin," Shiemi said, her gentle voice reeling me out of my thoughts as she placed a hand over mine. She squeezed it and it was like the sun hugging you. But less deadly and much _much warmer._

"You have always been a good person." She said gently and our gazes nearly drifted us into another planet. I wanted to stay right here with her, holding her close to my chest and safe from any danger.

Izumo gripped my hand and squeezed it as well, bringing me out of my safe haven. When I turned to look at her, her ruby eyes were filled with a wry hurt and jealousy. She squeezed my hand with desperation, "Yeah, you are a good person."

Although she spoke to me just now, her eyes exchanged a secret message to me that made my heart ache. Kinda like a bee sting that just won't go away. "Please," is what I first saw reflect in them.

"Don't look at her with those eyes."

I reluctantly pulled my hand away from both of their grips and exhaled deeply. "Hah, Shiemi, you think everyone is good, that's how you got stuck in that situation with Reiji." Shiemi's cheeks flushed and she looked away, murmuring nervously under her breath.

Izumo chuckled and she sat up, staring down at me; her aura relaxing. "Weren't we in elementary school at the time?" Shiemi perked her head back up.

"M- mhm! I was bringing new uniforms for the level up ceremony of elementary and that's how I came to Reiji!" Izumo and I snorted at the term 'level up' and Shiemi batted her eyes at us, confusion filling them. "D- did I say something bad?"

I shook my head and sat up, taking a deep breath as the icy air of the night filled my lungs. "Hah hah, I think you meant 'graduation' instead of 'level up'." She giggled shyly and nodded, sitting up with Izumo and I as well.

Although, Izumo suddenly gasped, causing both Shiemi and I to turn our gazes to her. "Our graduation ceremony. . !" She whispered, grabbing my hands and intertwining our fingers.

"It's tomorrow!! We'll be stationed in Japan and we'll be able to find our families!" Izumo must've snatched a few stars from the sky because they twinkled and danced in her eyes.

"Aah! Don't remind me, that puts too much stress on meeEEEE-!!"

"RIN, IT'S _JAPAN!!_ " Izumo cried happily, shaking my shoulders back and forth. I grabbed her arms as a form of support in the hope she'd stop, but she kept on going and I tried biting back a laugh.

"Hah hah, Izumo, please!" She calmed down and gave me large eyes.

"Aren't you _excited?_ " Izumo said, our gazes locking. "Will be stationed in Japan and tell his Majesty _everything._ "

My train of thought stopped. _His Majesty._

I reached for the cross that dangled off my neck, tracing the curves again. Izumo didn't know nor could she remember. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't.

 _But I did_ , I thought with a sour furrowing my brows. _I knew everything he had done to Yukio._

_He hurt him. That king hurt his own people and used them. How could people give him the title of royalty and not even see all the wrong he's doing?!_

**_I'm sure I--_** My eyes widened.

The thought caught me off guard and I forced myself out of them. "Rin?" Izumo's expression was puzzled whilst Shiemi had switched her locations next to her.

"Don't tell me that you. . . That you want to stay here?" My ears went hot and I frantically squeezed her hands, trying to pinch out all of her foolish thoughts she had just made up like a wet sponge.

"Oh god no! I want to get out of this hell hole just as much as you do! I'm just worried that," I paused for a moment. "That you'll get your hopes up for nothing. For all we know, we could get stationed in France, China, or even Russia!"

I saw Izumo's face become sour.

"Rin, come on. We've worked so hard and we both applied to be the stationed in Japan." My heart dropped and my tail curled itself in.

_She doesn't know anything._

"Right?" I bit my bottom lip and glanced over to Shiemi, the blondette looking timid and more anxious. I gave her a pleading look.

She exhaled and smoothed out the wrinkles on her brown apron before staring at Izumo. "I'm not going." Shiemi's words both relieved me and frightened me.

_Wait, what?_

Izumo's face twisted and she wrinkled her nose, shooting a puzzled look at the other. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Shiemi had a handful of cloth in her hands and her brows were curved into an anxious manner. "I, um. . . I am not going to the c- ce. . . remo. . . n- ny?" _Uh oh_ , Izumo's face didn't change.

It was silent for a moment and both, Shiemi and I couldn't read the woman's face. Shiemi had beads of sweat forming on her and she didn't dare try to remove them. Maybe because Izumo would bite her if she even moved a tiny bit.

Although, after a painstakingly long pause, Izumo finally uttered the words "Excuse me?"

Shiemi stiffened. She took a deep breath. "I can't. . . I- I will not go."

Izumo furrowed her brows and I saw Shiemi glance at me, signaling me to give them a moment. Which was probably for the best since I knew how much this meant to Izumo. She'd had spent countless nights whispering to me about all the gorgeous dress ideas in her mind that would drop Shiemi dead in her tracks when she walked on stage.

She'd utter giggles under the bed covers with me when the moonlight seeped through our window of how she would look like a walking fairytale. She'd even shown me floral designs that she thought Shiemi would adore her in. Izumo built up towers of excitement over the years for tomorrow, only for them to come crashing down on her with a few simple words.

I felt sympathy for her.

I stood up and dusted myself off, pretending to stretch my muscles as I looked down to my wrist. "Pheeew! Would you look at the time?" There wasn't anything there.

"It's almost my time for my date with my therapist~." Izumo didn't look up to me and Shiemi gave me a softened smile. She waved me off and I left them be, starting out of the cornfields and into the open air.

 

 

 

It was dark out and flame-lit lanterns still hung out of the small homes that dotted around other few buildings. Izumo and I shared a small hut not too far from the cornfields which made it inevitable for the two of us to befriend Shiemi. Actually, now that I thought of it, Shiemi had never been in our home and neither had we.

She couldn't have had lived in that field, right? The first two years neither Izumo or I had seen her. Not until we were in the fourth grade that we ran into Shiemi.

Izumo and I were walking back to our house when we had heard the clanging of metal against metal. When we turned our heads to the sound, we saw a pale girl with short blonde hair and curious green eyes, staring at us with wide eyes. It looked like she had never seen anyone outside from the gate because she uttered words that weren't in any of the languages Izumo and I had been studying.

Although, after a few times of running into her, she started to get used to us and we eventually figured out that Shiemi was slow developed. Well, we found that out when Reiji and his friends started to hurt her. The thought still put me in a foul mood.

But, Izumo helped Shiemi and I learn to read and write Japanese. However, I already knew most Japanese, I just never memorized the characters. . . Uugh, it was already hard enough having to learn English along with German and Chinese.

I rubbed my neck tiredly as if all the languages had started to fill my head. Was it really necessary for me to know how to say "Hi, my name is Rin!" in FOUR LANGUAGES??? I grunted and darted my eyes up to spot a building that read Counseling in bold English letters with nearly visible Japanese characters under it.

It made an anger tick from inside me, but I had to be grateful for the building even having any Japanese on it. Unlike the school building. I washed the thought away and took a quick glance down to my cross, tracing my thumb over the Japanese characters.

 _"You know Rin. . ."_ Yukio's words smashed into me like a tidal wave crashing down onto a beach. _"I wish I could share my worries the same way Suguro could."_

"Then why not talk to me?" I said without hesitation, my breathing quick and my heart pounding. I waited and waited and waited to hear his voice return to me.

But it never did.

I exhaled heavily and squeezed the cross as I pushed open the doors that led into the structure. It smelt clean and minty, the cool air licking my skin. Yeah, it was cold outside, but for some reason, my body reacted to it more when there were walls surrounding me.

I trudged off into the open space that was rather small, no bigger than the size of my own room. I planted myself into one of the seats, the cushion being stiff and squeaky. The woman behind the counter shot me a look.

She was sporting a tan and has dark brown locks of hair that clashed with sky-blue eyes. On the desk it showed her nameplate, it reading Mary. I gave Mary a weak smile.

The brown-haired woman only squinted her eyes at me with annoyance before dropping her gaze. My chest rose as I skimmed the room, finding a wall clock that had incredibly thin hands, making it near impossible to read.

But eventually, I got that it was around seven-fifteen. "Hmn. . ." I hummed, slouching back in the seat.

 _Shiemi owes me one. . . Wait_ , I mentally slapped myself. _I owe Shiemi one, uugh. . ._ I guess coming ten minutes earlier to a therapy session wasn't the best idea I've ever had.

But I guess telling Izumo that I decided to go to China instead of Japan would be even worst. She'd freak out and start going off on me, telling me how much of an awful friend I am for keeping it from her. I'm justified for my actions!

Gosh. . . Look at me here, going off in my own head, hah, maybe I am crazy? "Rin Okumura?" My head perked up to be met with the eyes of a gentle old man.

They were dark brown as his freckled skin layered each other while his hair was white with age. It was thin and he had a bald spot on the top, but it made him appear all the merrier. I gave him a softened smile and waved over to him, the man returning the grin as he gestured me to follow.

The very first time I had first met him his hair wasn't all white and was much more like a light brown, with grey streaks in his hair. He had fewer wrinkles at the time and big eyes that weren't always squinting all the time to see. Oh, how time had done him wrong.

When I was back in grade one, I would randomly scream as if I was being stabbed at and would cry my eyes out until my throat dried up. Certain words made horrific scenes in my head play on loop like a broken record and so did certain actions. Oh, one of my personal favorites was when the teachers would start to count down.

Hahaha, how I'd start to go batshit _ballistic_ when they did. I'd start screaming and run to the furthest corner of the room, trying to fuse myself with the wall and just disappear. After a few more of these random attacks on my mind, before and after school, one of my teachers finally sent me here.

They hauled me like a sack of potatoes in the summer heat that day as I tried planting my feet into the ground as if they were tree roots. Fortunately for her, she got that old man to speak to me and the first day, I never said anything. We just sat in silence.

Then the next day after school, my teacher pulled Izumo and I to the side and she requested Izumo take me back and from the "doctor building" for the rest of the week. Obviously, Izumo had done just that. It was so embarrassing, but here I am now, almost ten years later and I'm only coming here once or twice a week!

And, well. . . Today is my last day.

I sat in a leather couch across from the old man, the said male murmuring complaints of back pains and taking his seat slowly. Once he finally did, he leaned back in his chair taking a deep breath before smiling at me. I returned the expression and my stomach tighten.

"Rin Okumura. . . This is our final session, no?" I laughed anxiously, rubbing my neck to get rid of the strange tension.

"Hah hah, I guess it is. I never really thought I could be upset about saying goodbye." This place was almost like my personal living hell.

Well, I mean, it is still sometimes, but I suppose this building is okay. "Why would you be upset? Leaving is a good thing." I shrugged my shoulders awkwardly.

Suddenly, I felt my heart pounding with hurt and my eyes starting to dry. I licked my lips and nervously glanced back to the old man, shrugging my shoulders again. "Yeah, it _should be_ ," my voice cracked on my last syllable.

_Oh no._

This wasn't supposed to be sad. This was supposed to be a happy time. Happy.

Although tears threatened to spill, I rubbed my swelling eyes in the hope I'd push them back in. The man sitting across me kept his calming smile and his old eyes soft on me as if they were saying "it's okay." "What do you mean 'it should be'?" He asked.

A shaky sigh left me and I rubbed my hands, spreading my tension over each palm. "Can I have a moment? I mean like, out the room?" 

He simply nodded his head and tapped his watch. "I'll give you ten minutes to clear your mind, but at fifteen minutes, I'll start to worry." He and I shared a laugh and I excused myself.

 

 

 

I quickly made it for the nearest restroom, pushing the door open and running for a sink. Gripping the sink, I took deep breaths in, trying to focus my breathing, but that method never worked. So, I did the next best thing.

Like lightning, my eyes zapped from here to there, trying to find something-- _anything_ to start counting. My eyes dropped to the bathroom's floor, the gray cement clashing with the black stalls. In my head, I instantly already knew how many nooks and cracks there were, so I looked into the sink.

Usually, it would have a new amount of water drops, so I started counting those instead. But I didn't get very father, only five big spots of water, one-hundred forty-two specks of water, and twenty-three water drops. My high score was three-hundred n' fifty-six.

 _Uwephf, maybe that's something I shouldn't be proud of. . ._ I rose my head and looked myself in the mirror. _I've never. . ._ I hesitated with my thought, not wanting to try and look for any. 

_I've never tallied up the total moles I have on myself. Mom had four, so I should at least have one. Somewhere._

However, I already knew where it was. 

I pushed back my bangs just how I would normally do if I were reading or doing work. I leaned forward into the mirror and spotted one speck of cocoa over my right brow. It was slanted more towards the inner part of my face, but I stood right where moms did.

I couldn't help but gush over it. I knew Yukio had three gorgeous moles that made him stand out like a sore thumb. Oh, what am I saying? He's always been a cute boy.

A giggle left me and I held my cross. I'll find him. I'll find him one day. _But it's not today._

 

 

 

After I had calmed down, I left the restroom and started back towards my therapist's room. Now that I think about it, I don't even know his name. _Hmm. . . Maybe I should call him Mr.B for best!_

I grinned and stood out of his room, reaching for the handle before I noticed the door was already opened. "Huh. . ?" _That's confusing?_

 _I thought they he kept his door closed during sessions?_ My hand hesitated, but I pulled it back as if the handle were glowing with heat. My ears twitched and I tried focusing in on the room, now hearing whispers and murmurs slip between the crack of the door.

"No way. . ." One voice said with amusement. _English? Someone's talking in English?_

"I'm telling you," said the second voice, most likely from my therapist. "He looked like he was on the verge of tears." _He's talking about me_ , my chest tightened.

There was a soft chuckle from inside the room. "No way, _no way_. I don't believe you." Said the first voice. "Ain't he the one from that weird Japanese unit thingy?"

My therapist returned the laugh with a weak one, his poor lungs causing him to cough. "Hah hah, you mean the Togo Unit?" My eyes widen and I covered my mouth, forcing a gasp back down my lungs.

Memories that were like living nightmares started to flash in my mind they filled my head with a horrid smoke. _He-- he wasn't. . . He wasn't allowed to give that kind of information out--_

_Was he?_

It wasn't like the soldiers knew, I mean, only they knew because of medical reasons but either than them no one else knew. Not even Izumo or Shiemi! I only told him because I trusted him.

His soft smile and his gentle eyes always stuck a match within me. His words were so carefully chosen and he always knew the right thing to say to calm me down or tell me how to react to things. _I_ need _him, I_ depend _on him._

My stomach churned and I tidal waves started to rock from inside me. Something was pushing the back of my eyes out and the pounding pain in my head didn't work. My skin suddenly heated like an oven and the floor swayed beneath me.

My stomach churned and slowly started to climb itself out before I forced it down.

I staggered back in confusion.

And took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello everyone, it's nice to see you again~! i have a few things i actually want to go over today. first off, let me get rid of something that's been having me at a panic hahaha, Emperor Hirohito. now, i was initially going to use him into my story but i found out that isn't the best idea. i didn't do any research into the man and only knew that he was the emperor of Japan during WW2 and nothing else. i didn't really think of how the people viewed him and i'll be referring to him as "His Majesty" or "King." another note is the Togo Unit. it was a real place and it was a real thing where people were tested on and used as lab rats during WW2. for the context of this FANFICTON, i'm tweaking it by a LOT and the dates are definitely not going to match with actual historical events. obviously, everything in this story NEVER HAPPENED, but I am basing the time off events that might have occurred during WW2-- only with an AnE AU. anyways, thank you for once again reading this lengthy note and i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	3. "Wake From Death & Return to Life"

♡ ♡ ♡

**Exhaustion swirled in** my head like thick smoke with useless thoughts and questions as cotton clouds traveled across the sky at a snail's pace. The thick smog clouded my consciousness, and small pockets of air would appear for only brief moments to remind me of where I was. Occasionally, sparks of anger would flicker in and out of my mind like a candle that lit my father's tauntings laugh and insulting remarks. I twisted a pencil in my grip, spinning it between each finger to steer myself away from my thoughts and dive into the nursery-blue of the sky.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see a student's leg bouncing with impatience and multiple heads turning from the instructor to the clock that hid in a nook in the corner of the room. The students in the class wore eagerness like the latest cologne brand, but they were able to mask it with their alert gazes. It was nearing the end of class and cram school students had just started to dot the campus like ants rushing through their hive.

The information that spilled from my professor's mouth was like a tipped-tea pot steaming with beliefs that were repeatedly running through our minds. I tapped the end of my eraser onto the wooden desk and just wished I could fold myself into a good book instead of following the string of words my teacher said. Not like I had been paying attention (I already knew the functions of a gun) since my time at cram school taught me both senior high and exorcist classes.

I pressed the urge to groan when my teacher called for me, blowing the smoke from my mind out like a candle being blown out. It took me a moment to realize everyone's eyes were on me and I dropped the pencil from my grip. "Ah. . . um, I apologize, I didn't hear you, could you repeat the question, Sensei?" I lied, giving him a puzzled look.

The professor furrowed his brows, and his frown was outlined with irritation. His face was wrinkled with age, and the grey hairs on his head told anyone that he had lived a life full of experiences. His brown eyes sparkled with a tangerine-color as the sun invited itself into the room, and I'm sure they held black-and-white films of his past as well.

"I asked you for the three main reasons a man should have a weapon."The first reason was simple, you didn't even need an entirely separate class to learn it. "For a man to protect the women if we were to be under attack by the enemy. Also, it shows his Majesty that he can put his faith in us and trust us with such weapons. The third reason. . ." I hummed for a moment, not liking how the words would taste in my mouth afterward. ". . . is to prepare us for the war as well."

The promised smile that tugged at my teacher's lips had meant that I had answered him correctly. "Perfect as usual, Fujimoto-kun," he rewarded me like a child getting a gold star. The other students all nodded their head in approval, and once the bells screamed dismissal, they all shifted out of their seats. It was like sitting in the middle of a chess game.

Everyone was lined up in beautifully symmetrical rows and only moved when the moment was right, only to then go off to their stations. I gathered the notebooks that relaxed at the edge of the desk and slipped each one into its designated spot, making sure none of their covers folded.

The first journal to always go into my bag was the heavy medicine textbook, its pages murmuring hundreds of ways to heal a wound and treat a broken arm. Then would go in the agricultural science book that had excellent illustrations of nearly every plant and animal imaginable. Finally, the Shinotism book that held the dark truths of our afterlives was tucked safely into my bag lastly.

I recited the order in my head like a sequence of numbers, and I did it every day, repeating the same as the last. If I didn't, I'd break my routine, and that would mess up my entire day. It was a chain reaction of events that kept me from slipping out of auto piolet mode, and I refused to let such a thing to happen.

Although, as I started for the classroom's doors, my teacher had called out for me, pausing me in mid-step. "Fujimoto-kun, I need a word with you," he said as I pivoted towards him. My eyes snuck a quick glance to read the clock's hands that pointed out that I'd be late for instructing my class of exwires.

I couldn't stop the groan that escaped me and warmth rushed from my neck to my face. I hadn't meant to do that, it was an accident. My teacher cocked a brow as the other students soon drained from the classroom, leaving only him and me in the space.

He slowly relaxed into his chair, folding his hands in his lap as his eyes traced every inch of my face. My stomach twisted. What was the time? "Sensei, if you could tell me quickly, I'm in a rush," I said, the other male taking his time to shuffle through a stack of papers.

"Yes, yes, I know you have your own class to lecture. . ." He mumbled, frustration knitting his brows together as he plucked a few random envelops from his overgrowth of papers. The tower of papers had spikes poking out and they weren't stacked from the widest to the smallest sheet. My fingers tightened the grip they had on my bag.

"You seemed awfully distracted lately," he started. "What's troubling you?"

_Oh no. . ._ I cleared my throat as excuses started to bloom within me like roses in spring. "Ah, I apologize for that, Sensei. It's just, with the Emperor suggesting to bring exorcists into the battlefield, I worry for father."

Koneko's words bounced off in my head like an echo traveling through a cave and I was grateful for the seed of worry he planted in my mind.

My professor drew out a letter from the mound, and he released a sigh as he glanced over to me. "That's right, I read about that earlier this morning." He handed me the envelope, my eyes glossing over it before I took it from his hands.

I slipped it into my bag and made a mental note to check it as soon as I met up with Shura for combat training. "I found the letter in my inbox this morning. Was the only thing in there," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'll be sure to look into it, thank you, Sensei."

"Take care, Fujimoto-kun." I did the same and bid him farewell as I swiftly left the classroom. Although, just as I reached for the door, it was like he just didn't want me to leave. "Oh, and Yukio." I raised a brow when he used my first name.

I glanced over my shoulder and gave him a puzzled look. "If you have anything else that's troubling you, you can talk to me, alright?" I batted my eyes at him for a moment, registering his words slowly in my head like gears turning.

_Why would you care?_

I gave him a softened smile and chuckled lightly, making my way out of the room.

 

 

 

 

_Thank goodness I was away from that desk, I mean-- seriously._

_Would it kill to take some time to just organize your things?_

I brushed off the infuriating thought as I passed the few male students that still lingered in the halls. I'm positive they were all waiting for the second bell to ring, which released the female students. However, that wasn't going to be for a long while, so I didn't see the point in staying behind for the end of the day.

_Psh, just to see a few girls. . ._

I left the school grounds and went out to the opened campus, which was speckled with cram school students and teachers. Trees with lush green leaves were dancing and clouds were eating the sky whole. Although, a fiery presence made itself clear and I glanced over to it, seeing Shura making her way for me.

"Ah, Shura," I started, the woman waving around a small black box in her hands. She shoved it into my hands and rested her own on her hips. "Huh? What's--"

"I know you didn't eat anything, four-eyes, you never do! After you left the monastery, Shiro kept going on and on about not giving you a proper breakfast and-- UGH. Next time, I'm forcing you to eat that fish!"

My stomach complied with the busty woman as it started to tie itself into a sharp knot. I opened the box and peered into it, seeing sticky-rice carpet the bottom and bite-sized pieces of teriyaki chicken bunching up in the corner. _Hah, she bought it from the store again._

"What's that smug smile for? Wipe it off," Shura shot out hotly. I shook my head and tucked the box into my bag, looking back to her to see her eyes burning into me.

"I'm grateful is all, tell dad I said thank you." She made a noise similar to one of a frustrated horse. I continued driving towards the cram school but Shura grabbed my wrist, pulling my attention back to her. "What is it this time? I'm in a--"

"Here." She shoved what felt like a scrap of paper into my palm and rolled my fingers into it. "See' ya," she said, racing off in a hurried manner as I batted my eyes at her figure, seeing it grow smaller.

I opened my hand to stare down into it, seeing numbers and letters in black ink before my brows stitched together. "Shura!" I shouted, clenching the receipt for the bento box tightly. I could feel the smirk tailing her as she disappeared from my view and I groaned with heat. _For a second, I thought she had found something worth seeing._

But I didn't have time to complain-- in fact, _what was the time?_ Dread raced in my veins as I noticed the alarming rate of students and teachers that were outside was near to none. I was quick to find my way towards the cram school building, the halls being flooded with both, men and women alike. Oh no, I couldn't recognize any teacher uniforms and that shot red flags in my head.

_How careless of me_ , I thought as I hurriedly made it down the hall. The students must be sitting in an empty class by now.

My thoughts clouded my sense of direction and I crashed right into a couple of first-year students, a young boy, and a girl with their hands knitted together. I stared at them for a beat too long and rushed out a hurried "sorry" before continuing down the hall.

This time making note of my surroundings.

My palms tingled with a sort of iciness and I balled my hands into fists, the sensation of wanting to fill the gaps between my fingers making me want to fold them together.

I scoffed and my chest tightened the same way it had done earlier this morning. It was like someone pressing a bruise into my skin and I couldn't get rid of it. _Why does this feeling irritate me?_ I tried ignoring it.

I dodged pass pages that ran down the hallways and took zig-zagged steps to avoid bumping into the other students, who stood like statues speaking to one another. This was why I preferred coming earlier to the cram school classes rather than later. The school halls weren't as choked up with other students when I get out of school, but after the first bell, that's when the exwires packed the halls like a liquid.

Once I stepped into the room, it was like I was stepping into another world. I was no longer suffocating with other students occupying it and my body wasn't bumping into people like a metal ball in a pinball machine. The sound of feet stomping over one another were muffled like raindrops falling against a roof. I took a deep breath, my heart pounding and I couldn't put my finger on why it was doing such a thing.

"Sensei?"

I swallowed hard and darted my eyes to one side of the classroom, seeing wooden tables lined up to face the front. Only a few men filled the empty seats, but it wasn't all that surprising-- not very many people wanted to learn about the demon side of science. After all, everyone would rather take classes that involved reciting scriptures or taking on a demon head on.

I quickly greeted my class with a small smile and bustled for the front of the class. "Please excuse me for being late, everyone, I got held up in my own classes," I said, the class accepting my apology in unison and I exhaled heavily. "Alright, so how about we get along with today's lesson?"

 

 

 

 

The class ended as soon as it started and it was cleaned up as if no one had even been there. I sat behind my desk with papers sprawled all around it, but they were in separate stacks so it wouldn't stress me. I kept on scribbling away red marks on papers that varied between numbers and shapes.

_Checkmark,_

_checkmark,_

_circle,_

_checkmark,_

_circle,_

_circle,_

_checkmark,_

_forty-two point eight percent._

I furrowed my brows as I slipped Shima's paper into his stack of other poorly graded scores. I didn't understand why he even took my class, _maybe to be around his peers?_ I continued to grade thoughtlessly as I explored Renzo's motives.

It couldn't have just been to be around Suguro and Miwa, it's not like he didn't have regular classes with them during the day. I tucked the paper off to another pile and noticed that I was reaching the bottom of it, most likely a paper or two more left.

Finishing them quickly wasn't too much of a problem as I folded my suspicions of Shima, like a piece of paper, and tucked them into the back of my mind for later. I placed them into one of my drawers and would make sure to hand them out the next day. I stretched my muscles to relieve them and started out the door.

Now the halls were as barren as a desert and I couldn't imagine them to be the same exact ones that were packed with people. The silence that filled the space was so peaceful and my shoe's light steps made it all more enjoyable. I wasn't in a hurry so soaked up every second of this moment I had.

Although. . . when I'm alone like this, my mind starts to wander off and I'm not able to keep my feet on the ground. The cold started to tickle the center of my palm and bloom out into the rest of my hand, like a flower in spring and it weighed me down. I didn't like this feeling.

I didn't know why my body responded like this, but I knew I didn't like it. I couldn't remember a time when this feeling didn't haunt my body, it was always there. The cross on my neck suddenly felt heavier as it rested against me.

_Well, I mean. . ._ The cross was urging for me to grab at it, but I kept my hands at my side and I decided to drop the thought instantly. _Dad must've heard of the news by now, I wonder what he's thinking. Did everyone else at the monastery hear of it?_ I wouldn't know until I got back home.

_I wonder how they're all handling it._

Without realizing it, I was already nearing a large set of double doors that stood intimidatingly tall. But, despite their massive built, they were just as easy to open as any other doors in the building. I pushed them open and metal clashing against metal already started to ring in my ears, causing me to cringe slightly.

I stepped into the space and continued further into it, only to draw closer to the sound. There were a few lockers dotted around for anyone who wouldn't want to leave their things out and about while benches were dotted around. Eventually, I did make it to the source of the sound and I was greeted with Shura's figure behind black, metal bars.

The woman was swiftly deflecting small beads of metal as they came racing at her, but she was still able to maintain an elegant appearance. She knew how to swing a sword as if she were ribbon dancing. "Shura," I said and the woman paused for only a heartbeat, but that caused a bead to crash against her creamy-pink skin. The machine instantly turned off and uttered her score: _"One hour and twenty-four minutes. High score of one hour and thirty-one minutes."_

She groaned unnecessarily loud as I settled my bag onto a bench nearby, digging through it. More metal jingled from behind me, and I presumed Shura was leaving the tiny cage while I tugged on the letter my teacher handed me earlier today. "Were you bored waiting for me?" I said teasingly.

"Hah, please," she shot back, pressing against me as I gave her a curious look. "Don't think of yourself so highly." I rolled my eyes and shoved her off, deciding to plant myself next to my bag.

"Did I interrupt your training session?" Shura yawned whilst I started to open the envelope, plucking a folded white paper and a miniature key. I twisted the key with a puzzled look, already trying to figure out what secrets it opened.

"I nearly broke my record time, but 'ya startled me." I hummed my response and unfolded the paper, Shura eyeing me. "What's that 'ya got in 'yer hands?"

I skimmed over the paper, shrugging my shoulders usefully. "I don't know. . ."

 

 

_Dear Fujimoto Yukio,_

_Congratulations! You have received this letter to inform you regarding your acceptance to Unit 731. Due to your high grades, high test scores, outstanding information on exorcism, and your meisters your teachers have told us about, it has convinced us that you will become a great addition to our faculty._

_You will find a ket attached to the paper that is needed for you if you decide to attend the study of Unit 731. You are offered a spot in division 7 of the facility and will also be offered a uniform the first day you arrive. We expect to meet you very soon. Awake, arise or be forever fall'n._

_Sincerely,_

_L_

 

 

I raised a brow in confusion as I peered at the key, turning it like a globe just to look closer into all of its crevices. Nothing out of the ordinary stuck out so I didn't couldn't understand what to do with it. The letter hadn't said what to do with it either, just that it led to them. _Maybe it works the same way as the keys Sir Pheles hands out?_

"Oi, Yukio!" A deep thump hit the back of my head and my conscious soaked up the numbing pain. "Goodness, what the hell's wrong with 'ya?! I said your name like," she paused for a moment. "Four times!"

I groaned and raised my hand to show her the letter, but the key in my other weighed it down and told me not to. I opened my mouth but quickly shut it, clenching the key before shoving it back into my bag with the letter. "Sorry, I just got distracted. The paper was a blank."

I got up and stripped myself of my exorcist jacket and dropped it onto the bench before making my way towards one of the stalls. "Hey, wanna bet dinner on the loser?" Shura's face lit up as she quickly rushed into the stall next to mine.

"Hah, yeah right! We don't even have to bet if we both know you're gonna buy me food!" I chuckled and grabbed a pair of guns that laid heavy on a rack, tracing my thumb along the handle. I flicked the safety off and the metal suddenly weighed with a dangerous power.

_**Could you imagine the things you could do with it?** _

"Sure, Shura, we'll see about that," I said with a confident smile, clenching the two pistols as I aimed one at her. "Bang." She chuckled and rolled her eyes, taking her sword and jokingly gestured the blade to her neck, as if she were telling me I was going down.

I closed the gate behind me and so did Shura, the machine from across us echoing with its startup noises. "The session will begin in a few moments, please secure your belongings and check that your stall has only one person in it."

_L. . ._ My thoughts started as I saw a count down above a few wholes that the targets came shooting out from. It read: 00.00.30 and dropped down each unit after a second. _I've never heard of Unit 731. . . At least, no one had told me of it_. I glanced over to Shura, her cocky grin staring contently at the count down like a piece of candy.

Shura surely doesn't know of that place, if she had, she'd be either complaining of it or dropped the name a few times. My heart started to throb in my chest and I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

Even though I knew my eyes were closed, I was staring wide-eyed into a wall. Everything was dark and I only saw rays of red light stumble into the tiny space between a few cracks from behind me. It smelt like rotten fruits were decaying and I could hear sobbing coming from within the space.

Was it coming from me? I felt around and rustic metal cut at my trembling fingers. My chest started galloping like a field of horses and my mind started racing with overwhelming thoughts. Was I in a locker? _"Session beginning in ten. . ."_

My eyes opened quickly and I was breathing slowly. _"Nine. . ."_

The cross around my neck weighed heavier this time, with a form of sin trying to pull me down. _"Eight. . ."_

I snuck a glance to Shura to see if she had witnessed what happened, but fortunately, her strawberry eyes were pinned on the countdown. _"Seven. . ."_ I ran a hand through my hair, not even being able to grasp what I saw.

_What the_ hell _was that?_

_"Six. . ."_

_Oh god. . ._ I thought, shaking my head to get rid of the unnecessary scene from my head. The panic that was swimming through my veins just wouldn't go away. _"Five. . ."_

_"Yukio,"_ I choked on my breath and Shura shot her head to me.

"Yukio?"

_"Four. . ."_

"Are 'ya alright?" Shura said, her tone wary.

My eyes started to burn and my palms started to sweat. My chest was burning and images started to flash in my mind like a flipbook. "I- I'm fine. . ."

_"It's okay to be afraid."_ I pressed my eyes shut and dropped my guns, Shura barking out my name.

_"Three. . ."_

A little boy with eyes like the moon glowed with confidence. His almost night-like hair a mess as his milky-white skin made him appear like a snow angel. He showed me a toothy smile as he squeezed my hand.

_"Two. . ."_

_"I promise that I won't let those bad men do anything to you."_

_"One."_

_"You-you-you promise?" Did I say that?_ My voice was so tiny and one of a child's. I doubled over with a harsh pain throbbing in my chest.

"Yukio?!" My eyes shot open once again and a dart of pain shot into my shoulder, causing the machine to turn off.

_"One second. High score of three hours and fifty-seven minutes."_ I swallowed hard and rubbed my shoulder, noticing how shaky my insides were and how the chain from the cross tightened my throat.

A firm grip on my wrist violently pulled me out from the stall as Shura grabbed my bag and coat. "Wh- what are you doing?!" I shouted, annoyance building up inside along with fear. _No, scratch that. I didn't say that._

"I'm getting you out of here. You need fresh air, _clearly_." She said in a chiding tone as I reeled my hand from her grip. I didn't realize how horrible my breathing became before she pointed it out.

"I _need_ you to treat me like my age, good God!" My voice was so shaky. What the hell was wrong with me? Her shocked expression made a pool of regret drop in my stomach. I wanted to apologize, but my pride wouldn't let me and only a scowl remained on me.

"This isn't a yes or no question, it's an obligation, Yukio." She grabbed at me again and her grip was like a rubber band burning into me. But I let her drag me out.

 

 

 

 

Once Shura had successfully gotten me out of the entire building, we stood in the campus, the chill of the night oddly comforting. We didn't utter a word to one another as the crickets filled the silence. I had taken off the silver cross and fidgeted with it for a while, tracing the Japanese characters multiple times with a sense of guilt.

"So," Shura started with quiet worry. "Want to tell me what the hell happened back there?" I knew she was trying to sound more demanding, but she seemed so anxious that her voice came out with a soft affectionate tone. I rubbed my neck and dropped the silver metal around my neck once again, feeling safe with it on once again.

"I can't. . ." I started, pushing back my hair. "I don't know. I don't know what happened. I- I just froze." My voice was so small, I hated it.

I shoved my face into the palms of my hands, refusing to look at the other woman. Heat filled my cheeks like an oven and the cold couldn't kill it. "Can we just act like it never happened?"

Shura slipped my hands from my face and lifted my chin, her eyes looking at me with pity. "Yukio, don't do this thing. I thought you ended this habit?" She said with quiet empathy. I bit my bottom lip.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't push me away, _please_ ," She said desperately. "You're overworking yourself, you should be out with friends. Not teaching a class of minors."

"You're just going to burn and stress yourself out." I broke my gaze with her and stood up from the bench, staring straight ahead. "Yukio."

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry."

Shura sighed with exhaustion as if my stress was starting to stress herself. "You don't. . ." I bit my tongue back. "You don't _have_ to act like my big sister or," I said in a courteous manner.

"Hah!" She shot out, causing me to look over to the woman with a bizarre look. She returned with a look that said 'seriously?' She stood up and threw my trench coat over her shoulder as she tossed my bag to me. "I grew up with you since you were four, it's not my job to be your big sister."

She hooked her hand around my neck and rubbed her knuckled harshly into my head. "I _am_ your sister. We're _family_." I looked up to her and felt my heart being pulled at.

"Shura. . ." My heart ached as she beamed me a smile brighter than the moon tonight. She let go of me and dropped the jacket around me before she started to walk ahead of me.

"I won't tell Shiro what happened," she said, gesturing her hand back to me as if it were to say 'don't worry.' "But I'm sure he's throwing a fit over you as we speak. So, like, maybe you should get going home."

I raised a brow, fixing my sleeves onto my arms, "What about you? Where are you going?" She stopped in her tracks, looking back to me with a puzzled look.

"Are you worried about me?" She said teasingly as I muttered meaningless insults. She laughed quietly before taking a deep breath. "Clown wants to talk to me about a few things. Don't break a sweat over it, I'll let you know what he tells me. Aight?"

I nodded and dropped my bag around my shoulder, holding onto the handle of it. "Are you coming home late?"

"Dunno."

"Shiro isn't going to bed until you do."

"Then I'll be sure to get back as soon as possible," she said with fire as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you done?" She raised a brow and shot me a sassy grin.

I frowned and dipped my head, waving her off. "Yeah yeah, I'll see you in the morning." And with that, I was off back to the monastery.

 

❤ ♡ ♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello everyone, i'm happy to see you this week~! i had a LOT of fun writing this chapter, i especially enjoyed the interactions between shura and yukio, i'm just a sucker for the two of them acting like a sibling TvT, but that's not the point. time for some announcements, may is going to be such a busy month for me during school. i have big testing during the week and i need to take after-school tutoring for one of my classes because i didn't take it the year before. but only one more month of school and then i'll have summer break which means i'll have so much free time to write! aaaaah!!! it get's me excited but now that i've posted this chapter, i'd like to go back and edit the previous chapters and check for grammar mistakes. it'd mean a lot if you guys pointed them for me so i knew where to fix things :') anyways, thank you for reading per usual and i hope you all have a great day/night. sweat day dreams~_


	4. "All Men are Brothers"

❤ ♡ ♡

 

 **Morning came sooner** than expected and the events in my dreams were drained out within only a few beats. The few slivers of it were like old photos, streaks of blur fogging the corners and an unrecognizable setting being shot at. But I didn't try looking too much into it, I didn't want to be bothered with the possibility of another unknown woman or child with another random name popping into my head.

It made an anger stir inside of me when I thought of Yuri, and now, that moon boy. I chewed with annoyance as the two swirled in my head, their images pulling strings at my heart that didn't make sense. I tried forcing them back into the dark where my mind couldn't see them and covered them with other thoughts. Like, how adding an egg to the rice made it thicker and gave it a softer taste.

I was happy to at least be eating breakfast, even if it was created from the leftovers of my lunch, but it was certainly much more appetizing than a charred fish. I took another bite of satisfaction before Shura bolted into the kitchen in her night-wear. Her fascinating locks hair sticking out of places saying that she'd woken up late.

Just a little late.

"Good morning Shura, did you sleep well?" I said with a teasing tone as she blew a strand of her hair from her face. She planted her palms onto her hips and swayed into the dining room with a fury, but she hid it well with her vexed grin.

"Is it fun watching me stroll through the monastery in pajamas, huh?" I ate down my jaunty hum with another spoon fool of rice, opening an eye to the woman.

"And when was I responsible for dressing you?" I clashed against her, seeing her smile waver. My own smile danced across my lips. I liked testing her patience.

" _Hah_ ," she shot hotly, pinning her hands down out in front of me. I pulled the bowl of rice close to my chest as if Shura's hands were going to grab at it and whispered _'ooh'_ softly. "Would've hurt to wake me?"

My spoon clinked against the bottom of my bowl and I dropped my gaze to it. Only a few rice grains sparkled the bowl with a thin layer of golden egg-yolk coating the sides. I pushed my chair back and it groaned against the wooden floorboards, Shura's brows stitching together as I hiked for the kitchen sink.

"How could I? You always look so peaceful," I said in a voice soft with affection, twisting the sink's water on and waiting for the liquid to cool down. It always steamed with an aggressive heat that made me cautious. When I was younger, the hot liquid bit away at my skin and replaced it with a layer of leather, and I avoided the kitchen for days on end.

I rubbed my hands, tracing my thumb against all the ridges of and curves of my left palm. "Oh, you like watching me sleep too?" Shura rested her hands against the window that connected the two rooms, a sassy smirk resting with her. My brows furrowed as a heat settled in my cheeks.

She chuckled and combed her fingers through her hair. "Weirdo."

I laughed hotly in a defensive manner, "I am _not_." I flicked my hands into the sink and the droplets of water that got stuck to the bowl caught fragments of light that made it appear like crystals were embedded within it. I turned over and fired Shura a heated glare.

"You're annoying."

"No need to get so defensive," she said with a bright look, stifling her laughter in her shoulder. My lips tugged down into an irritated frown. "Also, I've got a few things to tell you before you run off to school."

I swallowed thickly and clenched the edges of the kitchen counter. My bag weighed and I forced the nervous tension inside me to brew into a sweet tea. I hummed gently to her and started out of the kitchen, going through a check-list of my things as Shura yawned.

"Aar ya knar da own orm eraya?"

I exhaled heavily and rubbed my temples in stress. "Japanese, Shura?" She laughed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes away and I felt her yawn infecting me.

"Let me translate, it's Shura for 'ya' know that clown from yesterday?'" My brow lifted in a questionable behavior as I tilted my head over to her.

"Hmm? What about him?"

"Well, Mephisto wants to throw a graduation ceremony for the seniors and exwires, but he wants _all_ the exorcist to go as the staff. _Ppft_ , can 'ya believe that?" I rolled my eyes as if the information meant anything to me.

I could care less about parties, or in fact, crowded places. They always made a sense of panic shoot through me like an electrical current, but if I had to go to one, I'd be able to put up with it. Gosh, the thought of a party made the social battery in me empty out and I cleared my mind of any worries.

"But. . . Lucky you, 'ya get to attend as a student as well."

I paused like a film at Shura's words, a sense of dread starting to close in on my mind. The cogs in my head spun and whirled, milling Shura's words through my head until they turned into a fine powder and blew across me. "What? What do you mean?" I said with confusion rising in my tone.

"I'm saying, 'ya can go to a dance and have fun with all of 'yer friends!" My stomach flipped and sudden social events kicked one of my batteries out. Although, before I could say anything, she jumped from that topic in a matter of beats. "Also, he's handing out these special keys to exorcist like 'ya and me. Catch."

She tossed me a thin gold bar that caught the light in its metal and I held it tightly. It was no bigger than the palm of my hand and it seemed to have struck a similarity to the key I had gotten last night. It made my heart pound and my head swirl. I didn't want to think about that right now.

I focused my gaze back onto the red-head as the key slipped into my bag, "What are they for?"

"Supposedly, you can unlock any door with those keys, but they take you to the cram school." I nodded and thought for a moment, the other key perking my interest. _Did Mephisto give me an extra key by mistake? No. . . the letter was initialed with an L. . ._

"I dunno why he's handing em' out, but hey, that means you can stay here a little bit longer, no?" 

I narrowed my eyes onto Shura and wished I could just pull her questions out like a weed in a garden. "I leave earlier for a multitude of reasons, Shura," I said in a firm temper, closing my eyes to avoid her gaze.

Shura barked a laugh and crossed her hands over her chest, grinning like a mad man at me. "Look at you, mister big boy." I scowled. "A 'no' would've been just fine," she said with a carefree appearance on her.

"It's too small of a word, besides," I started, gradually leaving the dining hall and making my way for the back door. "Some people don't hear no." Shura's brow knitted together and she shook her head.

"You're sixteen, Yukio. . ." I ignored how the distress in her voice stabbed daggers through my chest. "Live your life before it's gone."

My eyes fell on the marking drawn into her chest, it's red swirls taunting me with a pang of guilt. I broke my gaze from her and started out the door. "I already am."

 

 

 

 

True Cross's campus was a buzzing beehive, students and exorcists alike hiking from one place to another with work tailing them. The local group of newsies all moving together in a clutter, almost appearing as one big family as they cried news headlines. Oranges whispered contently in the gentle breeze with the filling aroma of warmth and the scenery made my eyelids heavy with drowsiness. Such a familiar scene made it easier for my chest to rise and fall, and for my thoughts to flow without any worries of waves bubbling to the surface.

Fortunately, I didn't have the pleasures to run into Shima like the day before and that kept me at ease for the rest morning. But I suppose that's what you call the 'calm before the storm' because instead of following through my daily procedures, I made my way for the buildings that dotted around the school campus. Specifically for one of the dorms that were abandoned long ago due to old frightening myths that tainted the juniors and pages' minds.

Although, it came handy in situations like these ones.

I hiked for the said building, seeing fewer and fewer students blooming from pathways and conversations of the current events died down like the setting sun. The building's blue hues slowly started to shift with my vision as I got closer to it, its grayer tones dripping out and as the structure loomed over me. I thought it was going to fall over me and my throat started to tighten but I swallowed to keep it from closing.

I dug my hand into my bag, fishing out the key I had received from the day before and held it securely. My eyes fell back onto True Cross and my pulse increased as my ears went hot with possible scoldings I would receive tomorrow. With anxiety rushing through my veins, I squeezed the key and sped walked into the old dormitory, refusing to look back.

Once I stepped inside, the building's tangy smell of dust and age greeted me, with a few creaks and groans rustling from inside the walls. Light dripped from the few windows dotted around the space but a dark fog draped a cover over them like curtains. Flickers of dust caught the white light as it drifted to the floor, and the setting quiet was oddly serene.

The key that I twisted between my fingers no longer weighed with worry and the soft murmuring of the floorboards cleared my mind, clarity rushing through my veins as I lead myself through the halls. Déjà vu settled over me and a softened smile danced across my lips, the dormitory's setting reminded me of the monastery when I was the first to wake and see the dawn's first ray of light.

I liked being in here, it was such a pleasure and I promised to return much more often. I stopped when I came face to face with a wooden door, noting the silver keyhole as its sight pumped my blood. Bells screamed from distance and I shot my head back down the narrow corridor, my mind shouting 'go back!' But I stood my ground and jostled the golden key into its place, shifting it around until my ears caught an eager click.

_Maybe I shouldn't do this._

_**Why are you second-guessing yourself?**_ I shoved the key into my pocket and grabbed the doorknob, my fingers slipping down the cool metal surface. _**Just go in.**_

Pushing the door slowly I was greeted with a gust of frost kissing my face harshly. A tail of cold prin-pricks and needles gently tapping against my skin as shivers traveled from my lower back to the back of my neck. I swallowed hard and took a few steps into the door, closing it behind me and dropping the world behind me.

A great gate that nearly loomed over me had me crane my neck ever so slightly, its black bars glaring down at me. I balled my hand into a fist and exhaled heavily before someone barked a yell. "Hey!" I jumped and whirled my head around to my left, now realizing the door which I came from was one glued to a security check.

The coffee green hues that painted his outfit shot a rising fear of panic through me. The gold star that was stitched to his hat and the gun holster that hugged his waist only made my pulse quicken. "This is private property, how did you get in?"

Even though he didn't yell, his voice was thick with fire and his firm expression didn't help either. "Ah, um. . ." I cleared my throat and averted my gaze from his own, my hands darting to my chest. I pressed the cross from under my clothes against my skin, the coolness reassuring me.

"I'm Fujimoto Yukio, a minor that attends True Cross Academy." The Imperial Officer's expression didn't waver. "I received an offer in division seven earlier yesterday and I thought I'd come by to check it out."

The man eyed me with suspicion before he disappeared from the window. When he returned, he held a clipboard in his hands and flipped through white sheets of paper, almost reminding me of drafts curtains would be picked up from. He raised a brow before he darted his eyes back and forth between me and the papers.

"Fujimoto, was it?" He questioned.

"Yes," I said in a beat too fast. "Fujimoto Yukio."

The other male relaxed his shoulders and as his tense, serious demeanor melted away like ice, he had gotten rid of the clipboard and now held a petite paper bag in his hands. He gestured for me to come towards him and I did, taking wry steps as he handed it to me. "All men are like brothers, like the seas throughout the world. So let us not clash with the winds and create waves."

I clenched the dry paper's handle in my hand at the saying. "Of. . . of course." We exchanged smiles and he looked off in another direction before I heard a series of chains clashing against each other. The gate's bars gradually started to unwind themselves, their bars kicking away the snow that was planted around it.

"Work hard, Fujimoto-san, to see another sunrise." Heat rushed to my cheeks as I bit the inside of my lip. I nodded and walked through the gate, a gray-brick path blooming out into other directions but I kept forward, taking note of the school-like grounds. It had many dead shrubs and naked tree branches darting around, causing confusion to rise in me.

 _Where am I?_ The question repeated itself several times in my head. I knew I was at Unit 731, but where was Unit 731, on a mountain top? _If I knew it was going to be this cold I would've brought something more fitting for the weather. . ._

I came to a curve in the pathway where a building stood on the end, its wings spreading seeming to reach for the horizon line. In the center of that curve, there stood a flower-like shape that held a slope dead grass, but I ignored its features and focused on the text that was carved into it. _"We ask of the King of Light to fulfill our prayers. He who has the power and knowledge to shine light upon our dark times, come forth. . ."_

 _That couldn't be any creepier. . ._ I continued around the bed, starting for two pillars that held a roof up and blocked a patch of snow from building under the entrance. It was like stepping under a black cloak that did a terrible job at hiding the front door. With that said, I jarred the door open and slipped inside, my lungs being filled with a variety of smells.

Medicine was the strongest stench, but it was quickly followed up by rubbing alcohol stingy my nose. But I forced my hands to stay at my sides and took in all the white that surrounded me, a familiar sense washing over me, but I couldn't figure out what exactly what it was. "Are you Fujimoto?"

I was pulled from my thoughts as I darted my eyes around the room, but I only saw a man behind a counter, and he wasn't paying any mind to me. _So much for security, huh?_ "Can't you hear, you cockroach?!" I jumped and dropped my gaze only to spot a short, rounded man glaring at me with an unsettling smile that seemed forced onto him.

"Uh. . ."

The man's glassy-blue eyes almost seemed like they would crack at any point, making me nervous as his sandy-blonde hair rolled right off his head. He also had very small and round spectacles that seemed to rest tightly on his large nose, but he had an even rounder and stubbier face. "I can't believe--!" He cut himself and muttered useless insults under his breath before shaking his head and looking back to me.

"I am the head of divisions six through eight of Unit Seven, Three, One, Michael Gedōin!" He reached his hand out as an offering for mine and I reluctantly took hold of his. "In your file, it says that you're sixteen and you're the youngest person ever to become an exorcist. Is it true?"

The man's tone licked with a sort of jealousy when he shot me the question, his grip tightening. "Um. . . Yes."

Gedōin clicked his tongue but only his brows moved as the rest of his expression stood stone solid. "Well aren't you special," he spat out as he twirled away from and quickly started down the hall. "Hurry up! We don't have all day for children to be running around here like yourself."

Fire danced on the tip of my tongue, but I chewed the temper down and tailed him wordlessly. As we went down the hall I saw various doors closed and opened, my eyes peering through the gaping doors only to see white. White medical beds, gray hues of carts and chairs, and the occasional dead plant rotting in the corners. Although each room appeared to be arranged in a certain way, there was a mirror that repeated itself in each of the patient's rooms.

It made my blood run cold and my head pound. I kept my eyes forward.

"What is this place exactly?" I questioned, hearing the man bark a laugh.

"'What is this place' he says." He stopped and turned around to face me on his heels, grinning madly at me. My shoulders tensed and I returned with a puzzled look. "This is the division seven out of the other eight. Sadly, it's also one of the larger complexes out of the others. Such a useless building too."

I furrowed my brows and glared at him. "Treating the logs is such a waste of time, but I cannot disrespect Lord Lucifer's actions. Oh, yes, I almost forgot to tell you," Gedōin continued on his trail, turning a sharp corner and pushing through a set of doors.

It was another small space with a line of cubicles facing away from each other, almost as if no one wanted to see on another. A frown framed my lips at the sight. "This here is your office, along with a few others who work here. . . And the hall we just left, is where you'll babysitting the humans."

Gedōin groaned and the fire on my tongue grew hotter. _Does he have no respect for the people who work here?_ "Now, I'm obligated to ask if you have any questions, if it were my choice, I wouldn't ask you _at all_." The venom in his voice just rolled right of his tongue as if it were apart of him.

"Yes," I shot back, my grip choking the bag's handle. "What are the other divisions like? And what do you mean by logs and babysit?" Gedōin's eyes went wide(I didn't think they could get any bigger) and his grin grew even bigger. 

"Oh, it's an inside joke that kids wouldn't understand. Just stay in your division and do your job. Don't go putting your nose in places you shouldn't."

 

 

 

 

The ringing in my ears couldn't get rid of the events earlier today and the tiny pelts that came at me weren't distracting me. One after another, they kept coming at me, but that made the questions in my double. _Who was the man? What was he talking about logs and babysitting?_

_And what did he mean about me being nosy?_

My breathing was heavy and uneven as I forced my questions out with every gunshot. When I returned from Unit 731, the normal classes were already in session and the cram school wasn't opened, so I snuck into the training room. I thought it would help me blow off some steam and distract me from everything, but obviously, it didn't.

A dart of pain shot into my lower leg, causing me to flinch and the speakers to rattle out _"Two hours and fifteen minutes. High score of three hours and fifty-seven minutes."_ I'm wasting bullets, I groaned as I echoed the excuse.

"I'm wasting bullets. . ." I left the tiny chamber and threw myself into one of the bench's, pulling at the collar of my shirt to stop it from strangling me. "Wasting my bullets and my time."

Soft thumping started to bounce off the walls of the empty gym-like room, my ears perking up and a stream of lies flowing through my head.

_Thunk. . ._

_Thunk. ._

_Thunk._

_Thunk._

"Yukio?" I fixed my glasses onto my face and quickly threw on a smile as I titled my head back to the woman who called my name, her rosy-pink eyes puzzled when they saw me. "Aren't yer' school classes still going on? Why aren't you in class?"

I stood up from the bench and wiped my hands against the jeans I wore, getting rid of any evidence that I had been here nearly the entire day. "Ah, I got here a few moments ago actually, my teacher felt sick so he let class out earlier." Shura eyed me and dropped the bag she held onto the edge of the bench. 

"You were never a good liar, Yukio. It's that smile that gives ya' away." She planted her palms onto the side of her hips. "What are you trying to hide, four-eyes?"

I dropped the smile and furrowed my brows at her, an annoyance ticking from inside me when she caught my act. "Um. . . Nothing."

Shura's eyes dropped from me and back onto the seat, eying the empty box magazines I had sprawled across the bench. My heart leaped into my throat and I prayed that she'd just overlook the small mess. "Ah, sorry for the mess, I was emptying my guns."

I rushed over for the bench, quickly shoving all the empty black boxes into my bag, hoping they didn't make questions in Shura rise and my lies surface. "Yukio, were you doing target practice again?"

 _Oh no._ "Of course not."

"Liar." Shura grabbed my wrist and yanked it towards her, her eyes and thumb tracing the curves of my palm. "Your hands are too hot and they feel clammy." Warmth bloomed in my cheeks like a flower in spring and I reeled my hand away from her's, stuttering fruitless excuses before she flicked her hair into my face.

"Shura--!"

"Don't say anything four-eyes," the said woman said in simple directness. She reached over for her bag and undid the top, fishing out a small wooden box that was the size of both of her palms. I groaned when I saw her fish out a black disk right afterword.

"Shura, what are you doing?"

The busty woman ignored me as she settled the box down, opening it to reveal another black disk inside, which was named the spindle, and a long iron stylus leaning against it called the tonearm. It also had a few other buttons darted around, but I didn't want to try and recall all of that. Shura loved it so much and she had so many records laying around her room back in the church that you could call it _sinful._

She clicked the disk into place and slowly, a group of woodwind and string instruments started to play a gentle melody. I sucked in a breath when Shura looked back at me, a soften smile looking at me with a fond look. She walked to me and took one of my hands and placed it on her waist, and then she intertwined her right palm into my left palm.

"Shura," I hissed out, the said woman glaring up to me. "I can't dance." The words went in and out of her left and right ear because she forced my legs to move with the rhythm of the music as she pulled me around the room.

"You need to relax and just have fun," she said with a fiery tone. "And I'm not going to let you shoot at a wall to relieve yourself."

"Well, dancing isn't any _fun_ for me."

"Shh. . ." Shura said, her tone quiet with tranquil. The voice of a woman started to bubble from the record player, her elegant tone finding a way to put all my worrisome thoughts to ease. _"Yume mo nuermasho shiokaze yokaze. . !"_

The wind followed after her, a playful ring in their players' blow while Shura hummed the verse quietly under her breath. _"Sendo kawaii ya. . . Ye sendo kawaii ya, nami makura."_ The woman's voice went high with grace and power with syllables that held _e_ in their words.

Clarity rushed through my veins and to my head like smoke, preventing me from clashing against Shura's movements. Instead, I swallowed my stubbornness and would complain to her later, I didn't want her worrying me after all, and I moved with her as one. The instruments had time to shine and the strings gentle vibrations mastered the flutes' strong winds, the two harmonizing for a moment before the returned.

 _". . .Senri hanaryoto omoi wa hitotsu. . . Onaji yozora no. Ye onaji yozora no! Tsuki o miru. . ."_ Now the flutes strolled right back out, their sharp but calming breezes painting a perfect picture of what the woman's dance would be like. Elegant, flowing, _free_. The strings stayed far in the back, only hitting one or two for every note a flute sang.

"See, this is fun," Shura said with a teasing tone in her voice. I sighed and closed my eyes, silently agreeing with her. The way Shura could dance was so memorizing, I'd seen her perform such breathtaking dances when I was younger, and her red-hair was like the ribbon that sealed it all together.

 _"Hitore naryakoso makura mo nureru. . . Semete misetaya! Ye semete misetaya. . ! Waga yume o. . ."_ The last verse played and the flutes ended with a sad breeze before the music came to an abrupt stop and the static was all that could be heard. Shura took a deep breath of relief and made her way over to the record player, pulling the disk out and holding it to her lips.

She looked lost in thought.

"As graceful as ever, Shura," a man suddenly said, catching Shura's and I's attention.

"Shiro!" She cried, dropping the disk as beamed him a grin. "If you liked that why don't you come dance with me~." She blew the paladin a kiss and he retorted with a snarky remark.

Shura huffed but the two smiled at each other before Shiro looked over to me. His flaming eyes caught the light in the room and almost seemed like an orange-plum instead of their intimidating red orbs. "You dance like your mother, Yukio."

My heart squeezed and I forced the choked breath of air down back into me. I bit the inside of my lip and struggled to find the pieces of what I wanted to say, but only questions formed in my consciousness and I didn't know if he'd answer any of them. Even so, I still said, "Do I?"

I tried keeping the desperation and eagerness out of my tone and I hoped I did so as well. I didn't want to seem desperate for answers when really I was.

My father sighed, a look of sorrow and hurt settling into his expression, but he wore a fond grin. "The first time I met her, I thought I had seen an angel. Ah, I miss those youthful days. . ." He said with longing in his voice, the look of happy times dancing in his eyes fading away with the older he got.

 _He misses her_ , I thought with a sadness swelling in my chest. Shura looked over her shoulder with pity in her eyes and she glanced back over to me as if she were asking me to put an end to the conversation. But I didn't want to, I wanted to keep pushing forward with more questions about her.

"What did you guys dance to?" I asked, Shiro, shaking his head.

"That was the best part," he said, a smile on him. "We danced to nothing, only to the calming silence." Shura giggled and placed her hands on her chest.

"How romantic," she teased. Shiro laughed with a raspy tone and looked back to her, the woman smirking at him. "What did ya' come here for?" Shiro tapped his chin thoughtfully before he dropped his gaze back onto Shura and me, snatching our hands and stealing a surprised gasp from the both of us.

"Of course to dance with the two of you!" Shura's gasp turned into a large open-mouthed grin and she laughed happily, grabbing my free hand and helping Shiro spin me. I groaned half-jokingly and went along with their little dance, raising a wry brow at them.

"You can't dance with three people. . ."

"Then well just form a circle, come on, four-eyes! Don't take the fun out of this!" Shiro's smirk agreed with Shura and I sighed hopelessly, letting the day's events drain from me and disappear while at this moment.

I'll let all the worries and my responsibilities disappear for now. Only when I was at this moment. 

But a part of me, somewhere deep down, wished it'd last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello everyone, once again~ i apologize for the long wait, my exams are getting the better of me and i thought i could balance school and writing out, but turns out they can lead to a massive burnout :') again, i'm so sorry for the wait and i need to clarify something before i panic about it later! this is a work of fiction with real places but the characters and universe is obviously written for the purpose of a fanfiction. also, the song that shura played is called "Sendo Kawaiya" by Kikutaro Takahashi, i recommend you listen to it! anyways, thank you for being patient with me and i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	5. "Meeting Person Always Separated"

❤ ♡ ♡

 **I took stuttered** steps that took me away from the door, disbelief buzzing in my ears as a heat hollowed my expression. Every ounce of my skin started to burn and my stomach muscles hugged each other tightly, a strangled gag erupting from the tight muscles. My stomach churned like a rocking boat in violent waters and I ran out of the hallway.

I darted past the front desk in the lobby and the woman that sat behind it jumped at my appearance. "Hey, you can't just--!"

My shaky fingers and cotton arms fumbled for the door that seemed ten times its weight from before. Fingertips brushing against my shoulder made shock whirl my head in a blur. I regret turning.

White walls closed in on me and a man supporting an even whiter coat looked menacingly down at me. The syringe in his fingers looking awfully hungry for the taste of flesh. I screamed and pushed my body against the door desperately before reality finally fell back into its place. I bolted out of the building and my feet couldn't work together.

I tripped over my footing and crashed into the wall, my body sinking against it. I sucked in a breath and doubled over, my insides gushing out from my mouth in an instant. Overwhelming memories leaked from under my skin and blue flames framed me.

_He laughed at me._

Goosebumps broke out across my skin as a gust of wind enveloped me, but the fire that hugged me licked them away. More lighting bolts of accusations struck down in my and flashed images that kept my stomach jumping. Although, I forced the waters to stay at ease with a thick swallow.

 _He said he wouldn't tell anyone._ He promised.

A fit of dry anger pricked my eyes, old wounds becoming unstitched and splitting right open without a fuss made my lips quiver with hurt. I balled my hands into fists, my knuckles going blanch and forced my legs to hold me up. _Open up to people_ , I thought with bitterness.

_I did. I told him everything and he laughs at me!_

_I should've just kept quiet._

"Rin?" A gentle voice called out to me in a tranquil tone, my breathing hitching as I risked the glance behind me. My therapist and the woman from inside were staring at me with puzzled expressions.

"I told you he ran out!" She scowled, but the aged man ignored her.

"Rin, what happened?"

"Was I a joke?" I shot in a shaky voice, not realizing how strained my jaw was from the knot of air that balled in my throat. "B- because if I was, I wouldn't have wasted your time. . ." I sucked in a troubled breath and tried swallowing the cracking in my voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you!" I blurted out as my throat tightened with ache. "I knew what you told your friends!"

"Rin, I'll give you a moment to relax and once you have, let's go back inside and talk to me." My shoulders became stone and I buried my gaze into the ground. _I don't want to relax._ My heart drummed fire through my veins and my toes curled.

"I. . ." My fingertips brushed against the cool metal that was limp against my neck. My grip tightened around it and I bit my bottom lip, a metallic flavor staining my taste buds. "I don't want to relax!" Shock to my breath and I cupped my mouth, my heart racing a the surprised eyes on the other man. "I- I, I'm sorry," I mumbled out, bolting off.

"Rin!!!"

Anxiety swirled in my stomach and I choked out a suppressed cry, breathing heavily as tears stung my eyes. "I'm sorry," I murmured under my breath like a desperate prayer. _I can't believe I raised my voice at him of all people._

The blads of grass that struck at my legs didn't sooth them and the thick scent of Earth filled my lungs. _It's my fault I'm in trouble. I overreacted._ I bulldozed through lush stalks of corn and they'd grabbed at my feet, my running pausing every so often. _I complained too much, it's only natural for him to get sick of me._

"Ughk!!"

I groaned when I couldn't wrench my foot out from the ground, falling flat onto the ground with numbness spreading across my body. The bruising pain was short lived as the blue flames hugging me kissed them off my arms and stomach. Streaks of dirt smothered itself against my clothing looking like smeared lipstick.

My hands darted to my neck, but the reassuring bit of metal that hung around it was gone and my heart skipped a beat. Shooting up, I ignored the burning soreness in my legs and arms as I became frantic, my hands scrambling all around me. "Yukio, where are you??!!" I cried in a quiet panic, my eyes brimming with tears before I saw a sliver of moonlight dance on the ground.

I whirled my head to it and trapped it under my palms, the jagged edges making me exhale heavily in relief. I pressed the cross to my chest and tightened my grip on it. "I yelled at him, Yukio. . ." Hot tears ran down my face and I held my eyes shut.

"A- all he ever did was help me. . ." My therapist's bewildered eyes had pangs of hurt swelling in my chest. I fumbled with the cross and traced the characters with care. "Tell me what to do, _please_. . ."

My ears twitched at the light thumps that kissed the ground and I held my breath. The corn stalks brushed up against each other, something rustling through them in the silence of the night.

"Rin. . ?"

I sighed in relief, rubbing my face dry as I coughed abruptly loud. "Shiemi, hah hah, you shouldn't sneak up on people l- like that." I laughed playfully, turning to see Shiemi's figure. Her worry-filled eyes became a sky-blue from the moonlight as she lolled her head in puzzlement.

"I am sorry." She paused.

"Your date did not go good?"

I cocked a brow to the woman before my brows rose. "Oh, um, you must mean my therapy," I corrected softly as I rubbed my neck nervously. I darted my gaze away from her and lowered my flames. I thought of what she told me and I couldn't unhinge my jaw to speak.

My lips trembled and my brows furrowed. I dropped my head into my palms, muffling stuttered breaths into them. Shiemi gasped softly and whispered my name in a quiet sorrow, dropping next to me, her hands snaking around me.

They squeezed me with care and I pushed toward it, refusing to let her see me. She stroked my back, murmuring comforts into the crook of my neck as I returned the tighten hug with a frantic squeeze.

 _I could feel her heartbeat. . ._ I nestled my nose in her hair, taking in deep breaths to smell her clothes reeking of sweat and dirt from being outside all day. I clung to her tighter, trying to close all the space we had between each other like forcing the wrong puzzle pieces to fuse.

"I'm here, everything will be okay," the strength Shiemi forced in her tone had me sobbing harder. I don't deserve this treatment.

"I yelled at my doctor, Shiemi!"

"People yell," she said. "It is okay to yell when you are mad. Every person does." I swallowed hard, shaking my head _no_ as if to convince her. I don't want to talk about it. I just wanted to curl up and bury myself in the ground.

The tension in the air was like a gas of smoke that could be cut in two, but Shiemi must've gotten the message from my silent response. "It is okay, you do not have to talk about it."

She paused, her fingers tracing star patterns into my back. "Do you. . . want to stay like this?"

Her pulse quickened and the shyness in her voice told me _yes_. I wanted to keep holding her in my arms while I'd get lost in her bubble green eyes. I wanted to know what her lips would feel like on mine and I wanted to venture further into my fantasy.

I pushed away from Shiemi, untangling our arms only to have our fingers in knots. They were soft. I glanced up to her, the moonlight shining in her eyes giving me an opportunity to bloom our friendship into something else. I bit the inside of my lip when I dropped my gaze on her lips.

"I'm good. I just got worked up. . ." I beamed her a weak smile, Shiemi returning with a dumbfounded expression. _This is fine._

I fell back to the ground, exhaling loudly while my tail whisked itself back and forth like a ribbon. The zealous eyes in the sky blinked back questions to me and Shiemi darted her gaze from me to the sky. She fidgeted with her hands in her lap, playing with her apron.

Slowly, she rested onto the ground with me, her shoulders stiff and her brows tense. I sighed heavily, blowing a cerulean ribbon from my lips that smacked the sky. "You seem tense yourself," I started, shifting my head to face her. "I'm guessing your time with Izumo didn't go well either?"

"Um. . ." Shiemi giggled nervously, clenching the ends of her apron to hold herself together. "Izumo is mad at me," she cried, my tail and brows shooting up a surprised manner.

The sudden shout caught me off guard. "Eh?"

Shiemi bit her bottom lip, twisting her hands into one another in an anxious gesture. "I told Izumo I would not go to the gr- graduation ce- cere- ceremony because of the harvest." She furrowed her brows at the larger words that seemed to have been a mouth full for her.

I raised a brow to her. "But, I lied to her." Shiemi's eyes began to gloss as her hand dropped onto her chest. "I do not know what the word is, but when I think of being apart from Izumo, it hurts a lot." Her grip tightened on her chest. "A- and I do not think I can handle saying g- goodbye to her."

 _Ah. . ._ My heart sank but I gave her a softened smile.

Shiemi's gazed locked with mine. "I do not like this feeling, Rin.

"It hurts."

I closed my in thought and took in a deep breath, slipping my hands under my head. "I lose. . ." I murmured, shaking my head when Shiemi hummed to me. "You like her, hmm?"

The woman batted her large eyes to me, registering my words carefully. "Like. . ." She dropped her gaze to the ground, bring her fingers to her lips, pressing the word into them again. "I. . . I like you too."

I shook my head again. "No, I mean. . ." I pressed the cross to my heart, my cheeks blooming with a warmth. "Like, when you think of a certain someone, your heart beats like crazy and you can't think properly, and all you want to do is make them happy." I traced the Japanese characters with affection, almost as if I was talking to myself. "And you do anything to keep them safe. . .

"Because you love them."

My heart fluttered in my chest, my tail coiling up close to me. "Love," Shiemi repeated with the curiosity of a child. "I love Izumo," she whispered, my eyes darting to her to see her face bright pink.

I smiled gently to her, turning on my side and facing her. "She loves you too, you know?" Shiemi's breath got caught in her throat and her eyes went wide.

"Kyah! Rin I did not take you for the love type!!" Shiemi gushed, my cheeks burning while my heart leaped.

"H- hey! What's that suppose to mean?!" I shot to her in accusation, and she returned with a grin like a Cherish cat.

"Heh heh, do you have someone you love, Rin~?" My eyes grew and my smile dropped. I turned back to the sky, staring at the moon that ripples its moonlight across the sky. A grin plastered itself onto my lips, my hands tying the cross around my neck.

"Hmm. . . I did, but her heart changed." Shiemi's eyes softened before she giggled sadly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Rin."

"Nah, I think it was for the best." We stared at each other for a moment, her eyes gleaming with her new founded love. Although my eyes started to weigh, and I think Shiemi's did too because we exchanged sleepless-yawns and watery eyes.

"I. . . when the war is over. . ." Shiemi murmured with zeal in her tone. "I want to have a family with Izumo. . ." I tried pondering on the thought to give her a clear response, but I groggily responded with, ". . . Mmn, I want to be with Yukio when the war ends. . ."

I rubbed the sleep from eyes, but my head felt heavy. "Heh heh, Yukio~? Rin does love someone. . ." I hummed at her tease before closing my eyes, welcoming the comfort of the darkness. "I will say goodbye to Izumo. . ."

"Hmn. . ."

I dreamt of Yukio and Shiemi that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _it's the last week of school aaah, i have no excuse for why this chapter took so long to upload, maybe all the testing had me burnt out? dunno, but, i also apologize for the short chapter, my creative juice is being soaked out of me, anyways, i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	6. "A Thousand Oceans, A Thousand Mountains"

❤ ♡ ♡

 

 **"Rin!" Izumo cried** over the clothing racks that stood tall like trees around the store, my head buried between clothing articles in an attempt to escape from her tiresome aura. My tail whisked from side to side in a mischievous manner, smacking off innocent objects that were put on displays just to earn a cry from Izumo. I pushed my nose further into the clothing rack, my head popping out from the other side to see a dimly open nook in the center. "Rin, stop doing that and go find something nice!"

I pursed my lips, whirling my head around to Izumo only for my eyes to twitch at the heavy vines of clothing that hung from Izumo's arms like branches. "Izumo, I don't wanna be hereee," I groaned, but another clothing piece had caught her attention and she was off.

I murmured curses under my breath, parting the clothes and slipping into the opening. I sat on the ground, looping my arms and legs around a bar that stood dead in the center. My cross clinked against the metal pole as I nestled my tail around my waist, not wanting an employee (or Izumo) to spot it and scold me.

My grip was secure on the pole and the clothes that circled me kept my mind at ease. The fabric swallowed Izumo's nagging voice, allowing my child-like imagination to run wild. I grabbed at the cross that dangled freely around my neck, whispering "I'll just find something under my bed," to it with a giggle to close it off.

Hugging the metal bar, I fought against my heavy eyes that pleaded for just another minute of sleep, but I shooed them off. I felt safe in here, knowing that nothing could sneak up from behind and grab at me. When I was younger, all of my five scenes were forced to stay on their toes and I'd have to check over my shoulder countless times.

My brows furrowed and I rubbed my neck anxiously, tracing a series of numbers onto the side. "Mmn. . . I shouldn't have stayed up so late with Shiemi," I murmured with a lazy tone in my voice while the aching in my back agreed.

If Shiemi hadn't woken me up, I would've gotten a lovely scolding from Izumo and missed the ceremony. I frowned, shaking my head. _No no, Izumo calls it the ceremony, the actual ceremony's tomorrow. Today's our loyalty test. Although. . ._

A soft sigh slipped from me, my tail thumping against the floor with irritation at Izumo's foolish choices. Unlike other students, Izumo found today as the day to go dress hunting for the official graduation while others spent today as a free day.

"Rin!"

_Speaking of which. . ._

I pushed away a few corners of clothing articles to peek from, my eyes searching for Izumo's voice, but I couldn't target it. I cocked a brow, but suddenly, all the clothing articles were torn apart from each other like wet paper and the blinding light stung my eyes.

Batting my eyes and shading my eyes, they finally cleared and a pit of regret dropped heavy in my stomach when cat cores stared daggers down onto me. "Found you," Izumo spat out like venom, my ears twitching as I crawled from my secure place.

"Rin, you can't keep hiding in there," Izumo started, pinching my nose and making me jump.

"Ow. . !"

"Not only is it childish, but a waste of time! Also, shouldn't you be in the men's area?!" My cheeks heated and my heart jumped to my throat as I spun my head around. The bright colors that bounced off the fabrics made my face deepen in my shade of red. I couldn't tell Izumo that they made me feel relaxed, she'd make fun of me for weeks.

 _Or a day?_ The thought had my stomach knotting and I shooed it away. "Hey, like I said before, I'll just find something under my bed," I said, giving Izumo a careless shrug. Izumo's eyes flared whilst she bit back insults, starting for me, her nails latching onto my skin. I squeaked and tried pulling myself out of her snake-like grip, but held onto me like an angry mother.

"Rin, I'm not _asking_ you to find a suit. I'm _telling_ you." I made little to no effort in trying to free myself except for murmuring fruitless _ow_ s and _ouche_ s under my breath. The way Izumo was handling me reminded me of my mother.

 _"Rin Okumura!"_ She'd start, grabbing my arm and pulling me off from my hiding spot. _"I'm not repeating myself another time, understood?"_ She'd always scold me with an affection tone, one an upset mother had. _"You have to be brave, okay?"_

 _"But I don't like needles! I don't wanna go!"_ My mind slipped the memory through the cracks of opportunity like a folded paper. "Moooom!!! Let me go!" Yuri's head whirled to me, her pallid face and glossy orbs clashing with the weak smile she wore.

 _"Okay,"_ she whispered more to herself than me. _"Rin, you know I'm scared of needles too?"_ I furrowed my brows at her, giving her a doubtful look.

_"Yeah right, you are an adult!"_

_"See, I'm so strong that you don't even realize that I'm scared."_ My mother grabbed my arms with care, squeezing them softly to stop the trembling in them. I didn't understand why she was always so shaky at the time. _"So, I'm begging you, Rin. When you walk into that room and Yukio sees you kicking and screaming, he'll panic too."_

I dropped my gaze and balled my hands into fists, my tail lashing out from behind me. _"Please, if you won't do it for me, do it for him at least."_

"This. . . is going to be a lot harder than I thought. . ." Izumo's muttering brought me back to the time I was in, my head scanning the gray field we stood in. Clothing racks that were aligned perfectly had different hues of gray hanging off of them, my mood turning gray with them.

I snarled at her, but before I could say a snarky remark, she started again. "But--! That doesn't mean we won't find anything~!" Izumo whirled around, skipping in a taunting manner as I tailed her.

" _We?_ As in we, you mean _you_?" Izumo huffed a sigh, pressing random vests against my chest, all of them looking exactly the same as the one before. "Izumo. . ." I said anxiously, flinching back when she measured a sleeve against my arm. Her hands darted here and there and back over here, it made my head hurt and my skin heat.

"We don't need this much clothes." I hinted at the mound of clothing she juggled between both of her arms, my tail whisking over tempted to smack them down, but she shied it away with every attempt.

"Shut up, we have to look nice, especially you," she shot back, my tongue clicking in mild confusion. "And it's extremely difficult to find anything good looking for you in here!"

I moaned in anger, recoiling my arm when she pressed another sleeve up to it. "Then why are we--?!"

"Shh." Izumo pressed her fingers to my lips, eyeing the clothing articles she wore on her non-existent arms. She hummed in delight, nodding her head helpfully whilst she gave me a cocky smirk. "I've gotten everything I need~."

Izumo sang, a sigh of relief rolling over me as I followed her to the checkout counter. The cashier wasn't shy to show their obvious shock in the amount of clothing Izumo had rallied up throughout the store. "How much for all of this?" Izumo questioned, her English flowing out so naturally.

My English was horrible, but Izumo was so fluent with all of the four we learned during school, it was amazing. I envied her a little bit, but I suppose that is because I only focused on Japanese more than the others. My Chinese wasn't too bad, but it's nothing compared to Izumo's.

The cashier stared wide-eyed at my friend, trouble taking her breath for a moment before she jumped, realizing she was being spoken to.

"Oh, um. . ." The cashier scanned all of the small tags that were hidden throughout the colorful hues of fabric, managing to find all of them with ease. "Your total is one twenty-seven and thirty-two. . ."

My eyes bulged at the price, my head spinning at the overwhelming price. I shot my attention to Izumo, the woman appearing unbothered. "Izumo, we don't have that kind of money!!" I cried, the woman ignoring me as she reached for her shoe, slipping it off and reeling out two thin green sheets. They had the numbers one hundred written in the corners with a portrait of a man in the middle, making me cock a brow to her.

American currency always made me uncomfortable. _Who pays with the face of a man?_

"What?" Izumo uttered hotly under her breath, shaking my head as I spun my head away quickly. She huffed and handed the two bills to the cashier, speaking "is this enough?" her tone slick of cockiness.

The cashier took the money, staring at the two bills wryly like it was impossible, but even so, she settled them into the cash register and she uttered the cash back. Once we gathered all of the clothing articles, the sun's heat beating down on Izumo and I didn't distract me from the events in the store.

"Izumo, where did you get that money?" Izumo hummed helpfully, shrugging in a child's mischief.

"That's my secert~." I mocked her silently, hugging the bags closer to my chest when we entered the busy square.

It was buzzing like a busy beehive, children, and adults alike running around the crowd with different intentions. Mostly, women were the ones that seemed to have dominated the adult ratio to men, but it didn't surprise me really.

My eyes darted from left to right from time to time and I looked over my shoulder anxiously. Although, my steps came to a slow stopping when I caught a family of four in my view; a mother, father, and a pair of boys playing with each other. The father had a golden pendent clutching onto his shirt, calling attention to himself as the sun glared into it.

My heart sunk, but Izumo's hand slipping into mine broke my focus. "Don't stare." I opened my mouth to speak, but she shook her head, pulling me along with her. _Was it his choice? Probably not, more men seem to be getting drafted each day. He must be leaving with the graduating students tomorrow. . ._

_It's not fair._

After we squeezed out of the square, we entered the public school building, rushing to our homeroom class before any suspecting teachers questioned Izumo on the amount of bags we held. Today, the school had its doors opened for any students who wanted to prepare for their graduation.

Although, I'm sure Izumo was here for a few craft supplies. To be honest, I'm only with Izumo today because Shiemi urged me to spend the rest of the day with her, wanting to make sure she was fine. I closed my eyes in thought for just a moment, I should ask Izumo what happened yesterday.

Izumo pushed open a set of classroom doors, the classroom itself having scattered desks around with our teacher staring out a window. She peered over to us, her black hair flowing in thick wavy curves and her soft eyes smiling to us. "Ah, zǎo ān Kamiki and Okumura," she told us, her voice soft with affection.

Izumo and I bowed halfway to her, repeating the Chinese greeting. "What are the two of you doing here at such an early time, hmm?" She questioned, stepping over to us whilst Izumo tossed all of the bags onto the closest desk. Our teacher, in astonishment, gave the bags a bewildered expression. "Oh. . . Kamiki, your brain's flooded. . ."

Our teacher said in a silly tone, causing Izumo to plant her palms on her hips in a defensive gesture.

"Hey! There was nothing good at the store, so I have to work with this!" I rolled my eyes in exasperation while the other woman pressed her laugh into the tips of her fingers.

"It's okay, Izumo," she replied simply before I jumped onto a desk with a soft complaint.

"But we don't need any of this! Izumo spent so much mone!" Izumo furrowed her brows to me, my tail flicking itself to her. My teacher eyed the demonic appendage and it slithered back to my side as I gave her a nervous chuckle.

"Okumura, shouldn't that be tucked away?"

Izumo quickly stopped me from answering, yelling her own answers. "It's important for us to look presentable, Rin, if we want to get stationed in Japan! I've heard," Izumo started, pulling out a dress from one of the bags. "If America wins the war, then we get to live a peaceful life in Japan!"

My stomach coiled and my teacher sighed hopelessly. "Izumo, were spies, not soldiers. Living a peaceful life isn't as easy as ending a war." Izumo's grip on the dress tightened before she groaned in anger, a rip echoing in the classroom.

"Aah! Kamiki, what are you doing???" The teacher cried as Izumo continued to tear apart the dress, breathing heavily as she kept on.

"Izumo, calm down! Don't DESTROY them!!" I cried as well, Izumo tearing off another sleeve. She sighed, digging into her pocket that was high on her shirt, pushing a crinkled paper into my chest.

"Instead of raining all over my day, go to the market and find what's on the list with the leftover change." I glossed over the list, questions spinning in my head and overwhelming me. I pressed my temples with stress.

"Uurgh! Fine! Only because I don't want to see you ripping apart anything!" A flame sparked from out of me, Izumo laughing in victory as I started out the classroom. Aargh! She stresses me out too much!

But after a while of thinking about it, I started to laugh softly. _Izumo, you're a handful_ , I thought happily, starting for the market.

 

 

 

 

The square smelt heavy of baked goods on one side and fruits and vegetables on the other. The voices here was like a chaotic orchestra of musicians all try to play different tunes at the same time, but it gave life to the market. The sun's heat only added to it, making it glow with warmth.

Teen girls were making flower clowns or gossiping in the streaks of shade they could take rest in, children playing with marbles while their parents scolded them. My tail curled in on itself, sticking close to me as I sucked in a breath, squeezing past a few people. By mid-day, I had knocked down half of the list.

A cheery grin was plastered onto me, excitement bubbling in me when I realized on only need two more things. "Heh heh, Izumo's gonna be so happy~!" My tail danced behind me before a peal of shark-like laughter got caught in my ears. I tensed, hesitantly looking over my shoulder to see Reiji starting for me, his minions tailing him like puppies.

"Oi, Okumura~!" I looked away, clenching the bag of items I held in one hand wryly. I don't have time for this. I took a deep breath, my heart racing in my chest. "Oi, I'm talking to you. . ." Reiji growled, hooking an arm around my neck and forcing me into his chest, his fish breath suffocating me.

I bared my teeth at him, shoving him off, " _What_ is it? I'm kinda busy," I muttered under my breath, dropping my gaze to the list only for the snacks to be on it. Although, as I started to trot off, Reiji grabbed my wrist, earning him a gasp and Izumo's list. "Hey!" Reiji's little gang snickered at my useless attempts to grab the paper, my heart starting to hammer in my chest.

He started to read the list aloud, pushing me away with every shove I gave him. "Aw~! You still hang out with those _freak_ girls!!" I bit my bottom lip, refusing to give into his firey insults. I tried reaching for the paper again, but Reiji just kept dodging them, making furry heat in my skin. He grabbed a fist full of my hair, a fire burning sensation gnawing at the roots of my hair, making a shriek escape my lips. "Freaks like Izumo and Shiemi make you _soft_ , _Okumura_. I can't believe I'll be graduating with _you_!"

I bared my teeth at him, my nails starting to grow with a pain whistle they dug into Reiji's arms. But he didn't let go.

Reiji clicked his tongue, pulling me too close for comfort before the snapping of beads made my heart skip a beat, and he discarded me onto the ground. Time slowed and I whirled my attention onto him, my eyes shrinking as my cross dangled in his grip.

My heart was thundering, my chest screaming, my mind running. The air was heavy in my throat and I shakily stood up, my heated fists rising on their own. I punched his face, a scarlet ribbon leaking from his nose as he staggered back.

Reiji groaned, a wicked smile dancing on his lips as he came bolting to me, but I was quicker. When he passed me, my grip stuck to his arm, pinning it behind him as my knee struck him to the ground hard. He squirmed from under me while I twisted his wrist, his screams and my flames rising in the air.

_**Break it.** _

_**Break it.** _

_**Break it. Break it. Break it. Break it.** _

My lips perked up in each corner, my vision spotting with black and white dots. _**I'll break his wrist, I'll break every bone in his body.**_ A pair of arms grabbed me from behind suddenly made all of my senses flood back into me.

People screaming deafened my ears and smoke filling my lungs started to suffocate me. Blue flames that hugged market stalls were being put out poorly by both the customers and shop vendors in the square. My heart was racing, but I didn't have time to register, a punch numbing my stomach with pain.

I lost my breath, the flames on me crumbling in a heartbeat whilst my vision spun. "You're fucking insane!" Reiji screeched at me, punching me square in the face. I screamed in agony, blood dripping down my chin.

I frantically thrashed in Reiji's devil's grip, but he held tightly, allowing Reiji to use me as his personal punching bag. "Let me-- ghek!!" He punched my jaw, the bones shrieking in pain and bruising. My head dropped and a hiccup left me, but I bit my bottom lip harshly to refuse to give him the satisfaction of my cry. 

Reiji forcefully yanked my chin up, our gazes locking with a blur framing my vision. "Fight me without our fucking henchmen!" I spat at him, blood spraying in his face as I wrenched one of my arms free.

I threw it at his face again, but he caught me this time, my heart freezing. "You can't use the same move tw-- ARGK?!?!?!" I kicked Reiji harshly in his side, causing him to double over. In a beat, I snatched my cross from his grip, reaching down for the plastic bag and bolting off. "GRAB HIM!!!" Reiji cried as I squeezed myself past people.

I breathlessly uttered _sorry_ s and _excuse me_ s as I shoved people out of my way, wanting to be nowhere near that chaotic scene. My stomach started to stitch itself back together, my nails receding back to their form from before they were aggravated, and I squeezed the cross in a panic. _Oh God, Yukio, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I keep hurting everyone around me!_

I forced myself to remember how to breath, my head whirling behind me to see that the flames had died down and gray arms reached for the sky. I swallowed thickly, quickening my pace and eventually stumbling into the school. When I reached my homeroom class, I was out of breath, my cheeks flushed as I fell against the wall outside the classroom.

Panting heavily and pressing the cross against my chest, I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "Ngh!" I flinched at the sudden pang in my chest, my demon blood slow to recover me. "Hah. . . Hah. . . J- just calm down, you're being overdramatic. . ." I murmured to myself, slowly climbing back onto my feet.

 _Izumo's gonna question me and then scold me for getting into a fight_ , I sucked in a sharp breath, my tail twitching nervously behind me. _I fell down and crashed into a stall._ With shaky fingers, I pushed open the classroom door, presenting the beaten plastic bag above my head with fake confidence.

_Be brave._

"After a rough journey, I return with your requested items!" I said, a bold tone coaxing my voice.

Izumo glanced over to me, her calm expression slowly morphing into a horrid one. Her face became pale as she pushed herself out from under the desk, worry pumping through my veins. "Oh God, Rin-- what happened to you?!" She cupped my face, making me wince before I took her hands off me.

My fingers were trembling and I prayed she wouldn't notice. "I, uh, fell and crashed into a stall, it's nothing my demon-side can't handle." I laughed jokingly, Izumo biting the inside of her lower lip, her brows furrowing in anger.

"Goodness, Rin! I know you're slow, but how slow can you be! You made me panic." I silently cheered whilst my grin grew larger. 

"You worry too much~," I hummed pleasantly, handing her the bag. "I couldn't find any of the snacks you wanted, sorry, heh heh." Izumo shook her head, batting an _'it's fine'_ to me with her hand.

"As long as you got. . . You did! Thanks, Rin, you're not _completely_ hopeless~," Izumo sung once again, grinning at me as I returned with a blunt laugh.

"Hah, hah, very funny. Now, are you gonna tell me what you tore a bunch of clothing for?"

Izumo suddenly glowed like a Christmas tree.

She quickly hurried over for one of the desks, pealing off a clothing article as she spun it over to my view. My brows rose as she brought it closer to me. "What do you think? It's cool, huh~?"

I batted my eyes at the kimono, hues of gray clashing perfectly with the blooming, golden, flower design that was plastered on the obi. The collar was a light gray with golden stitching drawn into it. It made my chest flutter. "Izumo, this is. . ." I picked up the hakama, the end of the kimono, staring wide-eyed at the gray-to-white ombre.

My eyes traveled up the kimono once again, the crests pinned to it catching my attention. The entire thing honestly took my breath away. "This is amazing."

I looked back to her with the curiosity of a child. "How- how did you do this?"

Izumo smirked at me, striking her famous pose as she flicked her hair at me. "I used the fabrics from some of the dresses and the suits since buying actual fabric would cost ten times the amount we spent today." I pressed the kimono against my body, a sense of pride feeling me.

My heart leaped into my throat and my eyes swelled. "Izumo, you're amazing. . ."

Izumo laughed jauntily, a blush dusting her cheeks. "I know~." I hugged the clothing article, regret fuelling in me after I realized how troublesome I've been all day. I bit my lip and furrowed my brows, my tail coiling between my legs.

Izumo gave me a puzzled expression, her brows still tense as she raised one. "Hey, what's with that strained look? Don't you like it??" I shook my head, rubbing my eyes before anything could start leaking from them.

"No, no, it's not that. I just. . . I _really_ like it, Izumo," I suspired, closing my eyes happily as I gave her a soft smile. "Thanks for doing this."

"Of course, the family's gotta stick together, no?" I shot my head to Izumo, squeezing my cross. _Family_ , I got caught on my own breath, nodding my head without question.

"Right."

Izumo returned the nod, turning back to her seat with the bag in her arms. She grabbed at a colorful fabric, reaching into the bag and pulling out vivid flower types, pinning them into it. I lolled my head to the side, anxiously looking at the needle she held. "Um, are you letting me hold onto this?"

"Mhm, I'm making my own right now and I needed these flowers to finish it off! You should go now, I need to work in silence," she murmured back to me, getting sucked into her next creation. I laughed at the way Izumo worked, rolling my eyes as I started out of the classroom.

"Oh, you better rest too! With all of that bruising, you need your energy to patch you back up!!" I stifled a groan, turning back over to her with only to stick my tongue out to her.

"Yeah yeah, _mom._ "

Izumo scoffed hotly, but she didn't lift her eyes off of the fabric under her.

"You too, young lady!" I returned, Izumo and I giggling like two little kids. It filled me with an affectionate warmth that I had with my mother. I wondered if it was for these feeling that made Shiro only take Yukio with him. I trotted down the hallway, dwelling on the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello everyone! i'm so happy i was able to bring this one out a lot earlier :D ! i enjoyed writing this chapter, like i do with most of them, but this one felt much more easier! personally, i think rin is totally the type to go in the center of a circle clothing rack and just chill there, i know i did that a lot when i was kid, hah hah hah. school is ending in only two days, aaah! i'm not gonna lie, i'm gonna miss everyone here :') but i'm excited for summer and my junior year at highschool! gaaaah! i'm just gonna stop myself before i keep rambling, i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	7. "Ten Men, Ten Colors"

❤ ♡ ♡

 

 **Golden light poured** into my room, yesterday is just a memory and soon enough, today will be yesterday as well. Just a memory.

I sat up, ignoring how ruffled bed sheets attempted to cage me back to sleep as I searched for Izumo. Her presence vanished into thin air, her side of the room no longer a cluster of fashion magazines or one-hundred heavy pound books. All of it was squeezed into one small, itty-bitty, suitcase.

It rested on Izumo's naked bed, along with a paper neatly folded lying against it. I exhaled heavily, peering over to my personal suitcase, the black case light with clothing articles unlike Izumo's.

Last night, once Izumo returned from taking her loyalty test, she insisted I pack my room into one suitcase instead of just leaving with nothing. I was reluctant at first, but I did so. I was going to take a few things with me, I was just hoping to save it for the end of today.

_"Rin, stop complaining and just pack the things that are important! At least then you'll be sure you didn't leave anything worth burning for the soldiers."_

I hated how Izumo's words had such a great effect on me. I groaned at just the thought, rubbing my eyes of any sleep and Izumo's lectures. _Although. . . She's not wrong. . ._

I shifted out of bed, disheveling my hair as I started for the paper. _I'm not really focused on what I should and shouldn't take right now. . ._ Unfolding the note, I skimmed over it, noticing how rushed it seemed.

 

 

_Hey Rin since ur sleeping like a dang ROCK Ive already headed over to Shiemi's place so she could do my hair. Don't sleep in or I'll have ur head on a stick >:(_

_I put your clothes on my bed so u wont be looking around the room like a headless chicken :) but if you somehow manage to lose the kimono I swear_

_ps_

_\- I love you_

 

 

My face softened at the letter, grinning when Izumo dropped Shiemi's name before I exhaled quietly. I guess the two finally made up. I folded the note, shoving it deep within my pockets, my gaze looking up and down Izumo's bed.

I cocked a brow, nothing but a suitcase was on her bed. _Where on your bed?_

I thought quietly to myself, crouching low to the floor then peaking under the mattress. Nothing hid there, although, my eyes did catch an oddly familiar family crest leaning against a closet door.

Sighing, I climbed back onto my feet, starting for the wardrobe. Plucking the flat circle from the floor, I rubbed my thumb over it, eyeing how the closet had a thin opening already. I pulled open the doors, my eyes taking in the dimly lit space.

My heart sank.

The kimono Izumo made hung lifelessly inside the closet, sporting tears, and holes in various places. I sucked in a breath, holding it for a moment as I slowly closed the doors. But, when I reopened them, the kimono still stood there; it's shimmery waistband dull without its glow.

Fishing out the clothing article with care, I pressed it against my chest, the strings of my heart being yanked at just how the kimono's strings were torn at. _Izumo worked so hard on this and now it's ruined._

I swallowed thickly. _I liked it too._

My head was racing, my heart pumping heat through my veins instead of blood. _How did this. . . how did this even happen? I swear it wasn't like this before I went to bed. Izumo would've woken me with the loudest scream ever!_

My thoughts paused.

 _Maybe it was- no, he wouldn't go that far, would he? Is that even a question?_ I hauled myself out of my room, racing out of the tiny unit.

And when my eyes spotted a snake waiting for me, they flared, my heart dropping.

"Reiji," I gritted between my teeth, the male eyeing me with mild confusion before a smile played across his lips.

Bandages must've been in the season because Reiji was wearing them like diamond earrings and golden necklaces. Our little dispute yesterday got him looking all shades of purple, but I guess that's why he wore the bandages in the first place.

"Eh, Okumura, what's the matter~?"

I shoved my hands hard towards his chest, making apparent that my kimono was _what_. His little group of devils circled in on us, Reiji and I taking up the stage light whilst they stared contently at the show.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I spat, Reiji fighting a grin as he fondled with the clothing article in his hands. "Izumo worked so hard on that!"

Reiji returned with a sharp glare, his brows knitting together as he dropped the kimono in my hands. He pushed me to the ground with a hard shove, looming over me like a tower.

My vision flashed for only a beat, but my surroundings changed like a car crash, a surgeon's face reflecting across Reiji's face. My tail recoiled on instinct. "Hey, did you forget who you were talking to?"

I swallowed hard, gripping onto my kimono. "No," I murmured out dropping my gaze to the floor.

"You sure? Cause I swear I thought I heard you mention that freak's na--"

"You're a piece of shit!" I screamed, lunging at him before I was immediately shackled to the ground. I squirmed in the little devils' grips, all of them snickering at my attempt to escape, but Reiji clicked his tongue.

Annoyance bounced back to me, my head forcefully picked up from Reiji's grip. He knotted my hair between his finger gaps, my eyes wincing before they slammed shut.

"Know your place, Okumura."

I clenched my teeth as he cocked my head to the left, his breath hitting hard against my ear. "You're just a _device._

"A means to win a war and then get thrown out to a scrap yard." I sucked in a breath, balling my hands into fists as the world around me grew. I shrunk. "You're worth is just about the same as dirt."

His words filled me like smoke.

Reiji patted my cheek as if I were some dog, rewarding me with a cocky grin. My lips quivered, my jaw ached with an ocean of insults, my shoulders trembled, and I became so _small._

"Look how he shakes!" One of Reiji's men barked, laughter erupting from the men all around me. He simply scoffed, throwing my head to the ground, my chin hitting hard against the dirt.

I grunted, Reiji getting onto his feet before spitting at me. "You've wasted enough of my time. Let's go." All his dogs released me on command, tailing their owner like they had no one else.

Struggling to get back onto my two legs, I heaved, gripping my kimono with care. It was beaten just as bad as myself, looking worn. My chest was screaming as I glared over to Reiji's back, but I moved my gaze off him.

I picked myself up, my heart nursing a sharp thorn into my chest. I sighed.

 _"You're just a device."_

Reiji's words rung truth. "A tool. . ." I said, quiet with conflict, chewing my lip. _What was I thinking. . ?_ I dwell on the thought for a few beats too long, shaking my head no as I rubbed my cross.

"I hope Izumo can fix this. . ."

I sighed heavily, pushing aside all of the morning's events to every corner in my mind. They already happened, they're just memories. Just that.

Reiji's words buzzed harder in my ears.

 

 

 

 

 

When I came to fields of corn, I pushed back against the iron fencing surrounding the place, slipping into the lush corn stalks. I took my time walking through them, their hands reaching out for me now and then reminding me that I wasn't asleep. Once I reached the core of the field, there stood a wooden structure, it was poorly built, but nevertheless, it was sturdy enough to house a person or two.

Stepping into the home, floorboards creaked me a hello whilst an older woman settled down from the stairs. Her gaze glossed over mine when she reached the bottom of the stairwell, squinting her eyes to me.

"Good morning, Miss Moriyama," I said.

"Mhm, you look awful, Okumura," she returned, chewing on the pipe in her mouth. Shiemi's mother and her daughter clashed in everywhere, to Shiemi's blonde hair opposing to her mother's light brown hair, to the way they spoke.

I chuckled nervously, giving her a helpful shrug as I slowly started up for the second floor. "Oh, hah hah, you know how much trouble loves me."

Miss Moriyama shook her head _no_ , walking off to a separate room.

"It seems that you love trouble more than she does you."

My brows furrowed, my tail flicking at her direction, but I slipped up the stairs. A small hallway unrolled from the second floor, branching off to only two extra rooms. One of those rooms had light spill from a small gap between the floor, a softened smile coming onto me as I started for it. 

Muffled giggles echoed from behind the door. I cocked a brow, leaning my body against the door frame before peering in. My eyes glossed over to Shiemi and Izumo, the two of them tangled in their arms.

Izumo pecked Shiemi's lips whilst Shiemi returned them with giggles. Izumo murmured a flush into Shiemi's cheeks and I could almost feel the heat in her cheeks come onto me. They looked so happy.

I squeezed my cross, my heart throbbing with envy. Knocking on the door, I ended whatever they had, Izumo and Shiemi jumping.

Their faces became a ghostly-white but returned with color when they realized it was only me. Shiemi dropped her fearful gaze, although, Izumo kept her tomato red as she abruptly stood from the bed.

"Ah, um, R- Rin! You finally got here."

Shiemi nodded happily, smudging off cherry lipstick from her pale skin. "Hello, Rin."

I smiled over to her, returning the saying. Izumo eyed me with suspicion, beads of sweat forming on me. She crossed her hands over her chest, asking "Why aren't you wearing your outfit?" with a questioning tone.

"Did you lose it?!" She said with an accusing tone in her voice. I bit my bottom lip, watching her ramble off about my kimono. I slowly brought my hands to my front, Izumo stopping mid-sentence.

The silence strangled me. Her expressionless face made me plant myself to the ground. Shiemi gasped softly, nervously glancing over to Izumo. Izumo took the clothing article from my hands, my heart dropping into my stomach.

_Say something, please, anything. . ._

"H. . . How," Izumo whispered under her breath, taking light steps away from me. With care, she spread the kimono open, her eyes tracing every tear. "How did this happen? I- it was just fine this morning."

Tears welled up in her eyes, her grip tightening on the fabric blinking them away.

I bit my lip, struggling to find an appropriate response, but I just felt like a baby who couldn't speak. Giving her a worried glance, I sucked in a breath, anxiously running a hand through my hair.

"I didn't-- I didn't fall into a stall yesterday," I said honestly. Izumo's expression stirred whilst my heart stuttered in my chest. "I got into a fight with, um. . ." I trailed off, fidgeting with the piece of metal dangling off my neck.

"I fought Reiji yesterday."

"Rin!"

"But I didn't do anything! He was asking for it!" I cried innocently, a look of fault glinting into Izumo's eyes as they were fixed on me. "That bastard kept running his mouth and I couldn't just let him!"

I squeezed my cross, flickers of light holding memories with it being snatched off of me. I squeezed harder.

Although, Izumo didn't show a sliver of sympathy, her atmosphere filled with a boiling rage. "Rin, you can't fight every person that hurts your damn feelings."

 _He didn't just hurt my feelings! He took my things and talked trash about you and Shiemi!_ My eyes started to burn, but I bit my lip harder to keep them dry.

"You get so defensive and you start fights without even thinking."

_"Hah! I wish you did! That would've been freakin' awesome!"_

_Where's that spirit now, Izumo? I thought you wanted me to fry him. . ._

"Then you lied to me yesterday about not getting into one! 'You worry too much' well this is why!"

Izumo started for me, my senses all on edge as she backed me into a wall. She was small, but she grew ten feet taller with the help of her rage.

"You walked in all bruised up and you--" Izumo's voice cracked for a moment, a pained look melting off her furious eyes. "And you came in all friendly and buddy buddy like it didn't hurt." Hot tears tumbled from her face and she whirled her head away.

"I hate you!"

I swallowed hard, clenching my hands.

"You wouldn't understand--"

"Don't tell me I don't understand!" Izumo screamed, barring her teeth. Shiemi rushed for the space between Izumo and me, filling it with the mindset of making peace.

"Izumo, Rin, please stop yelling. Now is not a good time."

"Shiemi, his kimono--"

"That wasn't my fault!"

"Like hell--!"

Shiemi pressed her palms to her ears, her face turning red.

"STOP IT!"

Izumo and I froze, staring at the blonde with bewildered eyes.

"Stop it. Stop all the yelling," Shiemi said, her fingers trembling but her tone bold. "It does not matter who did it or not." Her voice was gentle now, her gaze falling onto me. "We will fix it together."

I sighed in unison with Izumo, the two of us glaring at one another with a bitterness. Shiemi once again was the peace negotiator. The blonde took in a deep breath, folding her hands together and pressed her lips to them.

Shiemi shook her head before glancing to Izumo, clasping her hands in hers. "Just tell us what we have to do to help." Izumo's cheeks burned as she studied Shiemi's face, furrowing her brows in embarrassment.

"Well, I need thread first to stitch the holes up and some fabric, but I've--"

"Ah, no." Shiemi pressed her finger against Izumo's lips, whirling around before taking my hand in hers. "Me and Rin will find fabric, the th- th- thread is in the closet in the desk."

I couldn't read Izumo's expression as Shiemi hauled me out of her room, but guilt started to pool in my stomach the further I got from her. 

 

 

 

 

 

After Izumo and I had our dispute, Izumo remended the kimono back together, sealing all the tears with seamless stitching. It was still the best stitching in the world.

The sun was setting now. Our school was only minutes away and so was the rest of our futures. Although, the way walk to it wasn't so pleasant. . .

Shiemi left a tad bit earlier than us so she can find seats for her mother plus herself, leaving Izumo and me to finish getting ready. However, without her cheerful voice rambling off, silence was the only sound Izumo and I heard for a bit.

Tension thick as gray smoke polluted the atmosphere that bubbled Izumo and me together, making my stomach tighten with anxiety. My fingers twitched, wanting to dart for my cross, but I kept them at bay, refusing to pull it from under the kimono.

". . .orry. . ."

My train of thought paused, my gaze hesitant to drop to Izumo. I cocked a brow, the red in Izumo's cheeks brewing questions.

". . . Eh?"

Izumo exhaled heavily, clearing her throat only to draw more attention to herself. "I'm sorry. For going off on you like that."

It was quiet again. Only a wind whispering with nearby conversations tagging along got caught in our ears.

"I don't hate you," she said, her tone quiet with sorry. Her stance wasn't confident, appearing as if the weight from our fight had her head hang lower than usual.

I rubbed my neck, my finger grazing over a thin string of metal. "I didn't take the words to heart," I said simply, taking a breath in. "If anything, I should be apologizing. If I didn't push Reiji yesterday this wouldn't have happened. . ."

Izumo pursed her lips, her brows tense as she returned with a conflicted expression. But she didn't voice her inner opinions. Sighing, she massaged her temples with ease, her gaze exhausted.

"Rin, _please_. No one told Reiji to mess with your kimono, so don't carry someone else's blame."

I starred at the woman with confusion, my brows rising ready to explain. "But--"

Izumo clutched my hand, pointing straight ahead. "Look!"

My stuttered explanation was immediately glossed over, my gaze following Izumo's finger to find bold Japanese characters reading: _CONGRATULATIONS!_

I gasped quiet with excitement, my heart fluttering within my chest.

People poured into the building in clusters, the doors clogging with anticipation. Lights that darted around invited everyone with in with their cheerful glow, drawing in more than just Japanese citizens. Civilians that worked part time jobs here even showed up. Although, I still couldn't get one thought out of my head. _Today is seriously my last day in a living hell._

I couldn't fight a smile from breaking out.

I squeezed Izumo's hand, rushing into the building. "We're really here, Izumo!" I cried, our giggles harmonizing.

"It's e- exciting!"

We weaved our way through the dense crowd, slithering our way onto the backstage. Once we arrived, the small space was dim, red draping curtains separating the stage from us and the guest.

Giggling girls cluttered around the curtain's folds, peaking through before darting their heads back and erupting with laughter. Couple of students stood near the back, some crying, others chatting with content. My eyes could pick out a few students I knew from the crowd, but unfortunately their names weren't marked on them.

I sighed through my nose when I noticed a group of girls making their ways to us, their astonished gazes on Izumo. Izumo noticed as well, instantly grinning when she saw them.

"Momuro!" Izumo said, a quiet jingle in her tone.

"Kamiki, you look so beautiful! Where did you find the kimono??" One of the girls questioned, planting her hand on her hip. Her tight red dress envied Izumo's elegant attire.

Izumo's smile reached from ear to ear, her eyes glowing from the attention she had proudly deserved. "Oh, this silly thing? Hah, you'd be surprise what you could make from just a few scraps of clothing," she closed her sentence with a few giggles.

However, her sly statement didn't match with the bandages hugging her pricked-fingers, but shocked gasps coming from the girls told otherwise. "You made it?! Kamiki, it's so gorgeous!"

"I should've asked you to make me one," another said. They all giggled, huddling around my friend like she was a trophy put on display. And just like that, I disappeared from Izumo's side, my existence vanishing into thin air.

I looked away from them, my strained smile wavering as I lost interest in their conversation. _Not like I was in it anyways. . ._ I sighed again, awkwardly mapping out the room to realize it was full of people. The entire senior year was here, boys and girls alike, their gazes all fixed away from me.

My heart throbbed, a sudden tinge of frost filling me.

Even when I was standing in a room full of people, I'm still alone.

_"You're just a device."_

_"A means to win a war."_

Clenching my teeth, I tried blinking Reiji's words away. _I never made an effort to make friends, and the ones I did make didn't stay with me very long. . ._ "Hugh, this is depressing," I murmured quietly, looking off.

"Okumura-kun!" I flinched, turning only to meet large dark eyes. The worried expression etched on the Godain's face brought me relief.

"Ah, Godain," I said, happily waving at him. "Just got here?"

He was breathing heavily, simply nodding his head. "Yeah, a few freshmen couldn't find their way to their units, so I helped them a bit, heh heh." He rubbed the back of his neck, no signs of annoyance or anger on him. It cleared my mind a little.

"Hah, you're heart's too big for your own chest, dude. You could've missed graduation," I teased, earning me a faint blush from him.

"Aah, but if I left them I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself, heh heh." He laughed nervously, wiping his hands on his trousers. "You look great by the way, I'm sure that cost a fortune, no?"

I cocked a brow to him before realizing he meant my kimono, my cheeks heating a bit. "Ah, actually no. Izumo made mine, eh heh heh. It doesn't look too bad, no?"

Godain nodded, his smile approving. "It suits you." We exchanged a few lines with each other just as a woman pushed through the red curtains.

"The ceremony will be starting in a few minutes, quiet down," she spoke in English, a few of my classmates turning their heads in confusion.

"What did she say?"

"We've gotta be quiet, they're about to start calling names."

Godain looked over to the curtains, sighing as he looked back to me. "Speaking of the graduation ceremony, where do you hope you'll be getting enlisted too, Okumura-kun?" He asked, his question catching me off guard.

I met his gaze and swallowed hard, shrugging my shoulders helpfully. "Eh, I don't really care," I lied, smiling. "How about you? Last time we met, you were unsure."

Godain chuckled awkwardly, scratching his cheek. "Ah, I stationed for Russia. . ." My brows rose with confused interest.

"Russia? What for?"

"Well, ah hah, after hearing what Germany's been doing, I think it'd be a good idea to steer clear of Japan and Europe for a while." I lolled my head to the side, not understanding too well.

"Don't you have family over there?"

He sighed nervously, his white face going pink. "Y- yeah, but, maybe Japan's fighting for the wrong side? I'm not the type for war. Maybe I'm coward, but Russia's cold weather almost acts as a shield for any enemies outside the country." Godain said, wiping his palms on his trousers once again.

I batted my eyes, letting his reason sink into my head as he looked away nervously. "Huh, I never thought of it that way." Relief washed over him and the worry in his smile lessened.

"Rin."

A hot grip found itself on my wrist, causing me to whirl my head around to the said voice. Izumo's weak smile greeted me as she gave a quiet _hi_ to Godain before trudging me off. I waved _goodbye_ to him and so did he, the two of us sprouting to our own corners.

"Where are we going? Everyone else is back there," I questioned, only spotting a few other students poorly dressed. Their pointy-ears and sharp teeth had my smile drop.

"Humans and demons are separated for the graduation," she said with quiet irate. I held my tongue back, refusing to start an unnecessary argument between her and me.

_That's not fair, Izumo's demon blood isn't even that strong, it's practically paper thin._

Izumo exhaled heavily, the dim lighting making her skin hold shades of blues and purples. She faced me, her glossy orbs shinning with tears. "Izumo?" I rushed out, confusion apparent in my voice. "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Her lips trembled before she blinked away her tears, her quivering fingers wrapping around my hands. "I'm scared. What if I can't see Shiemi ever again? I just told her that I like her too and now I'm leaving her for a long time!" She cried softly, her face turning a ghostly-pale.

I knew what she was feeling, the way her heart is squeezing in her chest and the strange grip tightening on her lungs. I know how her fingers are shaking with doubt and fear all to vividly.

My expression softened as I took in a deep breath. "Izumo, you worked so hard to get here. Shiemi wouldn't want you to throw it all away." For a moment, only a silent conversation took place, Izumo conflicted gaze fixed on our knotted fingers.

A muffled voice drummed with enthusiasm from behind the curtains, Izumo's grip tightening onto me as time ticked away. The first person slipped between the curtains, clapping thundering from the other side. Then another and another, different locations being dropped on them.

"Rin, I can't leave Shiemi—"

"Do you think I want to too?" I cut her off, beads of sweat forming on my upper lip. I licked them anxiously, my palms becoming sweaty as well, but I didn't pull away from Izumo. "I love you guys like sisters and I can't imagine being away from the two of you." I paused, strangers' names being told with countries and cities I'd never heard of before.

The space started becoming more breathable, but the walls were closing in on Izumo and I. "But we have to get away from here, no one deserves to live like this." _Behind these fences like a prison for the good people._

Izumo took a shaky breath, opening her mouth before her name taunted her on stage. "Kamiki Izumo's a—!" She crumbled, her knees buckling before I caught her, the two other students in the space eyeing her wryly.

"I can't go up there," she breathed, hugging me tightly. She was trembling from head to toe, her heart pounding. "I can't leave her!" We became little kids again scared of the shadows in the night, but this time I had to comfort Izumo. the voice on stage listed off all of Izumo's accomplishments, pointing out the fact that she came from a long line of shrine maidens.

I furrowed my brows at them, but I forced my eyes back onto Izumo. "If you can't do it for yourself, then at least do it for Shiemi."

Izumo sucked in a breath. "With all that said, I'm honored to welcome Kamiki Izumo!"

Izumo closed her eyes, pushing herself out from my grip, her midnight-purple hair framing her face. A stern look was etched on her face, but she started for the curtains, not even giving herself a second to recover. I rushed over for the corner, peaking through the curtain to see a confident smile coaxing her.

The light was on her, millions of eyes widening at her appearance, but Izumo's searched for Shiemi's. "Kamiki, you've excelled in and out of school and you've grown as a shrine maiden."

Izumo narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, bowing softly only for something to drop around her neck. "I'm pleased to tell you you'll be station in Tokyo, Japan as an exorcist who attends True Cross Academy. You'll be a spy. Thank you for all your future services."

Izumo stole an up roar of clapping from the crowd and when she faced it, I could see her confident expression never wavered, it only grew even wider. She waved cockily to the crowd, every step she took off stage becoming lighter. A smirk broke out onto my face.

 _She got Japan, hah. I'm so happy for her_. My thoughts told me, watching her disappear within the crowd of faces. Then, my name dragged me out onto stage, my smile dropping. "Okumura Rin's a special student, much more different from everyone else, neither is he a human, but nor is he a simple demon."

Me heart rate quickened, panic buzzing in me ears. _What?_ "Okumura, born in Japan was examined at a young age, his childhood lost, but luckily, his mother was smart enough to bring him to America. Yuri Egin provided us information that helped us greatly in the war."

What.

The.

_Hell._

They spoke my mother's name like any other person, but it made hot spit pool in my mouth. "Okumura troubled many teachers with his past experiences, but with time, Doctor Smith, our local therapist, helped lighten that burden on him." A few claps of sympathy sprinkled in the crowd, my stomach knotting.

_Who the hell told her all of that? Does everyone know?_

_A doctor grabbed my arm, his expression empty, but his syringe full._

_Thousands of needles pricked my skin, my blue flames reached for the ceiling._

_My mother cried._

_A man laughed._

"I'm honored to welcome Okumura Rin!" I whirled my head around, blue flames kissing the area around me, my fingers trembling. _Calm down._ I forced them back down, putting on a weak smile as I took heavy steps. I pushed back the curtains, the light blinding me for a moment before the world around me settled in.

 _So many ears heard everything._ I felt naked.

The woman's cherry smile and pitiful eyes made me want to vomit. "Okumura, you've proven that even the spawn of Satan can change for the better." My tail squeezed my chest, my ears burned, and my teeth ached. She reached for behind her, revealing a small medal, gesturing for me to lower my head.

I did so, keeping my eyes fixed on the ground just a beat too long. "I'm pleased to tell you you'll be station in Nanjing, China as a student attending Nanjing University. You'll be a soldier for when they request. Thank you for all your future services." The crowd clapped on cue as I fell from stage, the woman pressing on with her ending speech.

Curious eyes glanced over to me, pity glinting in them. I hated it, they don't even know me. I sped my walking, rushing out from the school structure, cool air blasting in my face. I sucked it in as the medal spat iron into my palm. I threw it to the ground, clenching me teeth to keep myself from screaming.

Light steps came from behind me, my five senses on high alert. I became four again.

Whirling my head around, I barred my teeth, ready to defined myself before I met two fragile porcelain dolls. Shiemi's blond hair framed her worried face while Izumo's stirred with conflict. Gasping quietly, I slapped a hand over my mouth, refusing to believe I sprouted my fangs at them.

"Rin? Are you okay?" Shiemi asked, her voice quiet care.

I stared, wide eyed at her, the kimono suddenly becoming to small for me. Shiemi's flower fragrance stung my eyes and I forced myself to relax, calming my senses for just a second. Izumo chewed on her thumb before throwing her hands out with a frustrated gesture.

"China? They put you in China?!" She said, practically spitting fire from her voice.

Waves of relief rolled over me, soothing my racing heart. I opened my mouth to speak, not knowing the panic rushing through my veins snatched it. I repeated Izumo's words in my head like a broken record.

Reality finally fell onto me, smacking me in the face like a hard slap. _I'm leaving them, this is really it_. My nose twitched as I hung my head, dejection weighing on my neck and no matter how much I thought about tonight, my eyes would wet.

I wanted to cry, but only dry tears left me.

Shiemi's face dusted to red, her green orbs glistening while Izumo furrowed her brows in hurt, her face and neck becoming a hot pink. A silent conversation took place between us, the chill of the night keeping company with stars spotting the sky. I thought of everything, from eating my first dish here to having my last class. I took all of those things for granted, and now I'm leaving it all.

Eventually, Shiemi broke out into a sob, the three of us tying our arms together in knots like a ribbon. We exchanged hushed comforts, silent sorrows, worried tears, but none of it would make a difference. We clung to one another desperately, trying to close all the gaps there were.

However, time wasn't in my favor tonight.

"Okumura," a sharp voice said, putting an end to our tears. I untangled myself from white arms, turning to see a man in cameo clothing staring at me with stone eyes. "You're leaving for China with your classmates."

"What?!" Izumo cried in English, Shiemi wiping her face, puzzled at what the American said. I sighed, taking in a deep breath.

"Right now?" I questioned, the solider's face unfazed from Izumo's shout.

"The plane doesn't leave for another hour, but it's advise you gather your belongings and get a seat before—"

"Can't you just give us a second?!" Izumo screamed, Shiemi frantically grabbing her arm.

"I- Izumo, please calm—" Izumo snatched her arm from Shiemi's grip, the blond flinching back as the other started for the man. He narrowed his eyes on her, reaching for his gun-holster. My heart leaped into my throat and I shoved Izumo back, holding her arms.

"Relax!" I said, glaring hard at her, panic buzzing in my ears. "I understand you're upset, but this isn't the way to handle it. You're just going to get yourself killed like this." Izumo's eyes flared, her heated skin familiar.

"But, Rin—"

"Izumo, please." She stared at me, silently debating with me, her eyes screaming insults at me. But she clicked her tongue, dropping her gaze before she murmured out a hurt _fine_. I smiled weakly, exhaling as I looked back to the man. "Um, I understand, where will I be taking off?"

The solider relaxed his muscles, his gaze hard. "A departure list is at the school, look for your station and it'll tell you where to go."

I nervously dipped my head in understanding as he eyed me, shaking his head before walking off. Shiemi and Izumo walked back with me to our unit, grabbing my things before heading back to the school. We searched for my flight, Izumo taking a glance at her own, only to find she leaves for the morning. I'm sure Shiemi and her would stay up till sunrise.

We walked until we found a small group of students, spotting our homeroom teacher, home was helping other students into a plane. She skipped over us, waving over to me, the ground under me crumbling. I looked back over to Izumo and Shiemi, Izumo's lips quivering as Shiemi smiled affectionately.

I took in a deep breath, hugging them tightly one last time, it was like being in heavens arms. I took in their scent, Izumo's cherry smell clashing with Shiemi's floral scent. I'm gonna miss them so much.

"I love you guys so much," I whispered, Izumo swallowing a hic.

"We love you too," Shiemi murmured into my shoulder. We unraveled ourselves, Izumo refusing to speak. I smiled at them, pushing back Izumo's bangs before kissing her forehead.

"Stay strong," I told her, turning away and starting for my teacher.

My entire body was crying out for me to turn around, give them one last smile, share one last laugh, cry one to many tears with them, but I didn't. If I did, I'd never be able to leave. My teacher gave me a prideful expression, her grin bright as she gestured me onto the plane. "You'll do great, Okumura."

I laughed anxiously, getting on, blasting cold air hitting my face as I settled for a seat. Once I did, my eyes became heavy and I feared closing them, knowing if I did, I'd be saying goodbye to my sisters. I sucked in a breath, leaning my head against the window, drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello everyone, making this chapter took quite sometime now and i'm relieved i've finished it! making a draft for this and revising it takes a lot of the fun out of writing for me, but i'm excited because my babies are going to be meeting very VERY soon ;) thank you all for being so patient with me and i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	8. "Rescue Me"

❤ ♡ ♡

 

**When a stuttered** heartbeat started in my chest-- when my life came into existence --my eyes didn’t fly open nor did a cry leap from my lungs. All I had was my presences and the chill of a liquid falling over my floating conscious.

I remember spending minutes, hours, maybe even days, just focusing on my breathing. There were moments during those painstakingly long days that I sought out for anything, but, if I had found something, what would I do with it? That abrupt responsibility frightened me, pressing my conscious further into an infinite slumber.

Constantly wavering between rest and stress, my conscious was whirling with torture every second of my existence. It was the sensation of drowning that made the wintry liquid scary to float within. But, when I focused on the thought of breathing in water, it filled me with confusion, my anxiety of the unknown, forcing my realm of sleep to grow stronger.

Although, one day, out of nowhere, I felt a sudden warmth. It licked over my fingers, then the swift alarming truth that I had fingers caused my mind to split in two. I twisted with a great dread of panic racing through my nerves, new limbs breaking an overwhelming sense of existence into my head.

No words could have described what I felt in that moment, how intense the emotions that stuttered vigorously within my chest made me want to scream. I wanted to know what that fire of passion was.

Something bubbled in my throat, interest slipping behind my forced sleepy state and into my eyelids. They twitched, and twitched, and twitched, bits and scraps of white seeping into the corners of my cryptic exhaustion. The new white light scared me, it clashed against my dark world, but my newfound curiosity wanted to hold onto that light.

Finally, light poured into my vision, but I didn’t have time to wince before a pale-blue soaked into my sight. The color soothed me, calmed me, tried ushering me back to sleep, but the heat only grew stronger. My heart throbbed with the desire to see what was causing it.

After several moments of my orbs adjusting to their environment, I glanced around, unknowingly drifting towards the warmth. I spotted a pale creature that seemed like a walking skeleton, but their large teal gaze and their flowing locks of brown hair told me otherwise. Their expression speckled with moles was one of disbelief, but as well as, guilt?

A soft click of realization sounded off within my understanding, the defeated woman staring up to me my mother.

I batted my eyes, puzzled for a moment, curious to how she created such heat with her palms. I stretched my fingers out, reaching out to touch her palm, could I do that as well? My palms tingled for a moment before I darted them away from the glass.

My head rolled, spotting a few other figures behind her. Two men being somewhat fit while a white ball followed by their side, an abnormal amount of white-yellow sitting atop its head. That said ball was a man, but I didn't decide against the comparisons.

"Ah ah ah, get away from the tube, Yuri," he exclaimed, a whistle in his tone. He struck my mother's hands aside from the glass-tube, causing my temples tensed. Sinking back, I realized glass closed in all from around me, air bubbles escaping me when I blew out.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the reality I was trapped fell upon me. My heart started racing, anxiety filling me only to have a wave of exhaustion spin my energy out of control. It was pointless to dwell on my confusion. It only stressed me out.

Wet arms snaked around me, holding me tight in their grasp as they drew out all the strength in my muscles. My eyes became heavy, my head weighing with depletion before a streak of emerald got caught in my eyes.

It stirred me right back up. Upping my head, I squinted my eyes, traveling behind the murky-blue liquid, only to spot another human. They held onto unbelievably intense, green eyes that almost reminded me of my mother.

_A boy._

He made a furry of emotions rush through me.

The boy had thin brown hair along with moles littered all over his clueless expression, making him a spitting image of our mother. _Ours?_ I bit my cheek, the strange bond him and I shared was hurting my head.

His palms were pressed against the glass, his legs kicking to keep him afloat. It was almost like he was fighting it. _Why won't he let the water hold him?_

_Stop fighting it_ , I hissed quietly, bubbles leaving from my mouth.

He lolled his head to the side, looking at me with content. _Why aren't you?_

I furrowed my brow, a rush of heat finding a new limb, only for it to flick at him. It was startling, but I was too weak to react.

_Because I'm tired_ , I murmured back, my bubbles tiny with annoyance.

He gave me a disapproving look, frowning. It made my expression harden into an awkwardness.

_That's dumb_ , he shot, keeping his brows furrowed.

"Are they..."

A heat touched against my glass once again, followed with my mother's reassuring voice, but I didn't break my gaze off from the boy. "Are they _talking_ to each other?"

_Whatever_ , I started, dropping my head away from him. Let me sleep.

_Wait_ , he said, not hiding the urgency in his voice.

But, maybe that's why I rose my head again. Even though his response irritated me, it made a strange concern stir in my chest.

_What?_

_I've been awake much longer than you. It's lonely, and I'm scared when they make it dark._

He said, keeping his gaze low. His tense shoulders and pinken nose caused my heart to squeeze.

The ball rolled beside his tube, his wide grin and golf-ball eyes closing in on us. The boy from across me hesitated, balling his hands into fists before anxiously eyeing the man.

_Please don't leave me with these monsters_ , he pleaded, his air bubbles popping with stress.

My stomach rolled, my nose scrunching back into my face. _Monsters? Do they hurt you?_

The air in my bubbles was full of questions, bursting with the need to become protective.

The ball fixed his glasses onto his face, tapping at the boy's tube with amusement. I shot him a heated glare. "It seems like this one _does_ speak! Isn't that swell news," he stated.

One of the men took a step forward, glaring holes at him as well. The blond sighed, grinning madly. "Relax, Shiro, your specimen is just the backup. That's why we have two, remember?"

I cocked a brow to them, not understanding the name just dropped. _Shiro_ , the name had no relations to me, no related bonds. Although, the one curiously staring at me seemed to have an unsettling strong blood relation with me. I didn't understand it.

He unsettled me.

I didn't want to feel this. I just wanted to go back to sleep. My eyes fell heavy before I drifted towards the other boy, but the glass kept us parted. My tail flicked at it, startling me.

To keep me awake, I regretfully kicked my legs to stay afloat, resting my palms against the glass. I wanted to fall into that pleasant pale-blue banket of a black world, but I couldn't bring myself to take my eyes off this boy. Not with monsters nearby.

_Okay. I won’t go away._

His eyes shot back to me, a rather large bubble of air popping from his mouth. His lips quirked up, and relief washed over him as he fixed his hand to be in more in line with mine.

_Thank you, Rin._

_Rin?_

_That’s what mom calls you._

New confusion filled me. It didn’t make me timid or anxious, but, instead, filled me with a sense of stupid curiosity.

_What does mom call you?_ I asked a bit too quickly, a heat forming in my cheeks at the surprised smile the other wore.

_Yukio._

The beating in my chest quickened, and I could feel the water sloshing around my legs from the shaking of my tail. I didn’t realize I could smile until I was mirroring Yukio’s expression, maybe a bit harder.

_You’re welcome, Yukio._

 

 

 

 

My eyes flew open, a familiar sense of a chill settling into my lungs. I drew my fingers out, yet nothing poured through them, nothing held me drifting in place. _It was just a dream._

Lazily rolling my head, I spotted a sea of suns and stars flaming, as if they had fallen from the moonless sky. I rose a brow, smiling as my hand naturally reached out for either Izumo or Shiemi. “Hey, do you see this…?”

I murmured, looking to my left. No one. It was startling, and the sinking understanding that I had just left everything made me ball up my fists.

Running an apprehensive hand into my hair, I directed my feelings onto the glowing sea, attempting to smile at the impressive view. I pushed a hand upon my chest, slumping into the tiny window. “I wonder if you’ve ever seen anything so beautiful…” I whispered silently pleading he has.

My hand lingered on my chest for a bit longer, hoping my words would reach to him. But nothing came to me. A hopeless breath left me.

Tracing over the same indents I had done a hundred times, I let my dream settle in me. Although, a sudden tremor jostling throughout the plane and the intercom sparking with life caught me out from my daze.

_“We are arriving in Nanjing, China. Please gather all of your belongings and prepare for landing.”_

Then it flickered off, the other passengers rustling awake, pale arms reaching up from their seats to grab bags. I exhaled wearily, trudging my elephant of a bag out from under the seat, hauling it over onto the next open spot. Another tremor ran through the plane, notably a lot harder than last time, my muscles tensing into the cushions in the seat.

A high pitch shriek came from an aisle in the back, followed with silence as the plane’s strides hooked everyone from side to side. I flinched when the plane drew hard down, pushing myself further into the seat. I hated this contraption.

I’d scream too if it weren’t for the fact the plane had touched the ground already.

_“We have landed--”_ a breath of relief cooled the plane _“--Thank you all for a peaceful ride. You are the future of the United States. God bless you all.”_

I swallowed hard, unweaving myself from the seat, and rushed for the exit.

 

 

 

 

You know what? Screw time zones, I hate them.

I left America during the dark and arrived in China nearly at midnight. My eyes were practically sunken into their sockets. The shimmering lights that scattered every street like millions of stars shoved into a box didn’t help whatsoever.

Don’t even get me _STARTED_ with the humidity-- it’s like walking through soup! I turned a street corner, and more lights glared in my face. A complained pushed past my lips in the form of a groan, and my tail hugged my waist tighter. I just wanted to find my station.

A numbing growl made my stomach sink in on itself, vibrating whines growing from it. I sucked in a breath, refusing to take in the nauseating scent of fresh foods. Exhaustion has a way of turning your next meal into vomit. My stomach protested louder, and I cried silently.

“I’ll grab something to eat in the morning…” I said with quiet promise, massaging my stomach.

I’m sure if my exhaustion wasn’t killing me, I’d adore this entire scene.

Warm shades of a burning sun captured within paper lanterns, scattered around pathways within countless vendors that sold all kinds of foods? Hah, this is a living fantasy!

My steps swayed, and I suddenly had two left feet. I tripped over my sleepy-state, but caught myself, nervously skimming my eyes around. Thankfully, the smiles and friendly conversations within the natives didn’t waver onto me. Reassurance lifted my lips.

I lowered my eyes onto a map, scanning a hopeless puzzle. I was a blind man in a maze. Sighing tiredly, I dropped my face into my hands, smoothing it stressfully. I should ask for help.

My gaze lifted from my palms and searched for the calmest stall in this packed street. When they caught onto one, I blinked, and suddenly, I was leaning against the wooden shelf, struggling to recollect my Chinese lessons (and possibly my senses).

“Uh… What is here? Um, no, where is here? Am I here?” The man standing behind the counter was staring at a headless chicken. _Oh god, I sound like an idiot._ I rubbed my neck nervously, painstakingly showing my map. “Where is here?”

He remained quiet, and I was afraid I was speaking in gibberish. Then, a smile broke out onto his face, a laugh slipping from him. Shaking his head, he gave me a kind grin.

“You must be a foreigner,” he yelled, patting my shoulder as if I were his drunk friend. Smearing a thumb over his upper lip, he eyed my map before dropping a finger onto a casual spot. “This is here.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line. “I’m only joking with you, young man. You’re in Nanjing, which is here on the map.” He pointed to the same spot as before.

Although, his smile dimmed as he followed his arms over his chest. “But… I suggest you get moving from here. The city has been told to be under evacuation, but no one's been paying much attention to them.”

I raised a confused brow, his complex words taking a second or two to register into my thick skull. _Evacuate?_ “Is not safe here?” I questioned nervously, my tone timid.

“Not safe? Oh no, the evacuation has been old news.” He laughed again, and I gave a weak chuckle.

“Uh, thank you. I must go,” I said with sleep heavy on my eyelids.

I pivoted on my foot, the quick movement keeping my eyes open. Then they caught a familiar shade of green. I glossed over to it, distracted for a second.

It was a man, but not a Chinese citizen. The uniform he wore looked bore strikingly similar to another one I had seen before. I took a step towards them before they reached for their back pocket.

Not a single person saw him lift the red pistol, but every ear in China caught the explosion that cut the night into day. The scarlet-red flares that spurted everywhere flickered for only a split second on the man who had fired it. My eyes went wide when I realized who he was.

_Bang!!!_

A blood-curdling scream ripped through the air, promptly multiplying like a domino effect. More blows echoed throughout the sky, people of all kinds of ages unsewing themselves from one another.

The calming sea of citizens began twisting and turning against everyone, their hands and legs breaking into each other like shattering waves riding a wild current, Japanese soldiers becoming swallowed whole. It charged my lungs with panic, alarm buzzing loud in my ears.

Lanterns were torn off from their stands, their red flames licking hungrily at anything their needy hands could grab. My feet stood planted into the ground as the threat became clear in my vision.

Men of snow and green started pouring into the streets, their fire sticks lighting with a bright flash now, and then.

My eyes traveled further past them, trucks creeping from behind the horizon line.

My throat tightened, my stuttered breaths acting as barb wire on my neck when I realized what they held.

My tail squeezed my chest, ruthless soldiers seizing women and children before hurling them into their war vehicles. They screamed, cried, begged for the safety of their mother's arms. It made my chest burn.

The ground under me became flimsy like wet paper, my world tumbling, and my head spinning. My train of thought stopped, my eyes grew heavy, before a group of children shrieking grabbed my attention.

Their miniature figures desperately clung to each other like dolls with stitched arms. A ring of fire circled them, keeping them prisoners and soon to be, prisoners of war. It knocked me out of my episode.

I moved like light without thought, blue flames unfolding from me like wings spilling towards them. Blue battled against red, playing in a heated battle around the children, their cries rising as blue rose to victory.

My flames gave in from above them, eating them whole as they sobbed excessively. My body poured into it, sliding down onto my knees, so I stood eye-level with the kids. They were trembling tremendously, their clacking teeth stuttering with every breath they took.

They looked petrified, their eyes going wide when they saw me.

"D- demon!!" One cried, my chest nursing a thorn.

_Bang bang!!!_

Screams followed after, my ears twitching. My eyes were straining against all the shifting lights, my unsteady fingers lifting so flames would stream from their tips. I molded a dragon, my flames getting captured in the children's gazes, and a breath of relief fell from me when their crying paused.

Its serpent-like body became as broad as my arms, it's tail, mocking a bristled paint-brush. I opened my eyes, comfort washing over me when I saw it twirling around the children.

A gasp left me, their wet faces, brimming with unexpected grins. "H- how did you do that?"

and I chuckled poorly, eyeing the child's wrist. She wore a red band of braided thread, three cherry stones clinging tightly to it. Picking up her arm, I pricked my thumb, pushing it against the bead in the center, scarlet blood smearing against flecks of gold.

" _I bind this regal flame to the wearer who holds here bracelet. When they call, do not leave their prayers unfulfilled and guide them to a sanctuary._ "

I lifted my thumb, revealing the bead that glowed with promise, the blaze of a dragon slipping into it before springing right back out. The child gasped, zeal gleaming in her eyes.

_"Wang Xiu Ying, I am to your service,"_ he said, his voice flowing from low in his belly.

She gawked at him, her cheeks a rosy pink as her friends all bounced on their toes. They drowned me with questions, but I brushed them off, taking hold of the sliver of my elegant flame.

"Lead these children to safety and others if you can, please?" His whiskers tickled my palms.

_"Of course, Prince."_

"Prince?!" The girl cried, her face turning redder.

_Bang bang!!!!!!_

They all jumped, the dragon swiftly growing twice his size from before, flicking his lizard-like tail around the batch of children protectively.

_"Stick close to me, young ones,"_ he hissed, his tongue flicking in and out with patience.

I abandoned my blue flames to the ground, the rest of my balance slipping forward, but I threw my hands out, my arms holding up my body weight.

One child screamed prince, but the animated flame ushered them away.

Red blazes came to my sight, tides of heat shattering into me. I was practically in an oven, the streets shifting from a festive vibe to an immediate, war zone.

It made my head spin

I was breathing hard as I attempted to get back onto my feet again. Although, an arm looping around my neck had other plans. I bit back a choked scream, my shorten, quick breaths of air splitting fright into my ears.

Then, my warming skin sank my conscious, fire leaking from under it like the blood oozing from my pierced lip.

_**I won't give this body up!** _

My palms stretched on their own, my nails becoming claw-like and tearing upon at the flesh ringed around my neck.

_**"Let go of him!"**_ I snarled, but the grip only tightened on my neck. It wasn't long until _he_ was forced to let me have control again, my struggled gasps for air pathetic.

A glove caught my wrist, wrenching it behind me as he captured my other one. I screamed, jerking violently at the restaining hold. "Stop it!"

The familiar heavy metal around my hands had me going deaf. I froze when the realization and remembrance of who these men were came flooding into me. My knees buckled, but the man held firmly onto me.

He dragged me a few steps away from our previous location, flinging me past bar doors. I fell hard to the floor, my side burning. I expected my flames to kiss away the injury, but I already knew they wouldn't.

I laid there for a moment, trembling in place as I hesitated to open my hands. Although, it was useless, with the bindings they had forced onto me, I wasn't going to be able to do anything.

Curling in on myself, I risked peeking at where I had been thrown into, cherry-red bars taunting me. My racing heart was throbbing at the sight of them, all of my therapy lessons burning up into the sky.

My vision started spotting with black, and I didn't fight against it. That'd just be draining. I became a little kid in that damn tube again, tired and stupid.

I wish I had those frosty arms to hold me instead of the thick heating smoke.

_I'm tired_ , my conscious murmured. My eyes dropped, and a small laugh cut my chest.

Rolling onto my stomach, the reassurance of my cross pressing against my chest made me want to cry.

"Ah, hah... I'm trapped _again_..." I whispered, biting my shaky smile. "I don't want to sleep... I'm afraid I’ll wake up the next time I do."

I just wanted to hear his voice one more time.

Pressing my eyes tighter together, I tensed my shoulders. “Y- Yukio, _please_ …”

_"... I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner."_

I couldn’t respond as I fell into my sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _hello, everyone! i have no excuse for why this took so long to upload, but i do hope the very few of you still reading enjoyed this chapter... i've actually been in school for 6 weeks now and let me tell you, its been SO stressful. i'm actually avoiding work just to write in this fanfic-- my art teacher gave me(err, the class...)a few wise-full words: "to get to the fun parts, you have to push through the boring parts..." and now that brings us to now. i hope some of you are having an easier school year or a nice break or a nice day in general! i can't promise to bring the next chapter within the next week or next month, but i just ask for you all to be patient with me. i hope you all have a great day/night. sweet day dreams~_


	9. "Spinning Lies Into Fairy Dust (1)"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, I'm using Third Person Point of View Limited-- which I think will be much easier to distinguish who's point of view the chapter is in.

**❤ ♡ ♡**

**At times, when** things got too much, Yukio would retreat to the safety of solitude and center his focus on breathing. It brought him so much recognition, it was something he knew how to control, and that power of control is what kept his mind at bay. It was the paste that kept Yukio’s delicate self together.

Although breathing in the twilight’s crisp air now, Yukio did not perceive that secure feeling he was once able to take in. 

Coupled with the past several days, the oils of life poisoned Yukio's still waters. He'd been skipping his studies, twisting his truth far more often, and ignoring what his dreams held in store for him. 

Consequences were working to catch up with him, whether they’d be bad or good wasn’t in Yukio’s pond, and for such is why the moon’s glare made his absence of power more exasperatedly weaker. 

Yukio knew of the hour it was, how still, quiet, the earth oddly was tonight. The twilight wasn’t attentive. No bugs hummed children lullabies to sleep, cars streaming down roads from depressing work hours were tales, and the stillness the darkness drew was more chilling than usual.

It was just Yukio and the moon, the rest of the world under a spell of forever sleep or suspended in place. He couldn’t stand it, his pacing quickened, and he hurried after for the comfort of the church he knew all so well. He could navigate the entire structure even if the world synthesized him to be a deaf-blind person.

After several moments of panicked jogging, the brunet came to a stop, the monastery obscured because of its dark coat, but the soft moonlight outlined it. Yukio stared pensively at the convent, taking in a deep breath, fully aware of the kitchen’s yellow glow. Shiro was up.

Of course, he was. Shura didn’t know where Yukio was, so what was she going to tell Shiro when he asked for his whereabouts? The brunet hadn’t meant to spend several ungodly hours at his newfound work. Yukio swallowed his sin hard. 

Circling to the rear of the monastery, Yukio slipped in through the back door, the door whispering a creak as he closed it. His chest was drumming as he spun lies to truth, turning on his heel and starting down the hallway. The light scattering from the kitchen ate a section of the corridor. 

Yukio delayed, pondering racing to his room, or, facing Shiro. He paused, holding his breath, and chose the latter of the two.

Yukio walked into the kitchen, catching his father wearing the fire of a thousand outraged men in his thickening glare. Racing blood stretched from Yukio's pounding chest up to his neck, touching the tips of his ears and turning them a fresh shade of red. Yukio wished Shura’s obnoxious-self would fall from the staircase to break the thick tension in the air, but she didn’t.

Yukio spoke first. “Dad,” he said through a tightened throat.

“Where have you been?” Shiro pushed from his chair, his arms folding across his chest with demand in his eyes. His stance towered and cast a shadow of peril over me. “I asked you a question.” He grew to the size of mountains while Yukio became a child.

Yukio's muscles stiffened at his father’s remark. “I was out at True Cross,” he lied.

Shiro’s brows dipped further down his face. “True Cross?” he said, his eyes staring with disbelief momentarily. He let out a furious breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose with ease as his eyes dropped. “Dressed like _that_?” Shiro threw his hand out.

Yukio’s breath caught in his throat, his brows rising at the dreadful realization of what he was wearing. The layers of white fabric draping over him far from his closet’s attire. Yukio retreated his gaze to the tile floor, balling his hands up to fists. _How stupid do I have to be?_

“Do you have any idea how late it is?” Shiro spat with fire.

“I’m seventeen. I’m grown, I don’t need to tell you where I’m going to be at all the time,” Yukio said with disquiet. _Shit. ___

__“What?” he said. “Do you have any idea how worried I was!” Yukio pressed his eyes shut. He wanted to run off, hideaway in the farthest corners of his room. “Shura didn’t know where you were or your teacher! So where the _hell_ have you been running off to this past week!” he cried, Shiro seizing Yukio’s arm. _ _

__The brunet’s eyes flew open, and he met his father’s wounded expression. It looked familiar, the awareness of it shooting fear through Yukio._ _

__Yukio's head was bursting. “Let go of me!” Yukio snatched his arm from Shiro’s grip, faltering back as he regained his breath. Yukio’s heart was thundering in his ears. “I don’t need to waste my time at True Cross,” he shot out._ _

__He sucked in a breath, Shiro’s face turning pink. “Where were you tonight?!” he cried._ _

__Yukio grimaced. “I don’t--”_ _

__“That’s _all I want to know _!”___ _

____Shiro sank into his chair, dumping his head into the aid of his palms. His shoulders quivered for a brief moment as he rubbed his face, taking in a shaky breath. Yukio was taken aback by his father’s sudden disconcert, forgetting his train of thought._ _ _ _

____Both men didn’t speak, for it would disrupt this much-needed silence they needed to muse on one another. Finally, after Yukio’s awkward stare was smoking on his father’s head, Shiro broke the silence. “... You could've been--” his voice broke._ _ _ _

____It tore at Yukio. “--You could’ve been _hurt_ , Yukio, and I’d never know… Please, you’re all I have left of your mother, I can’t lose you too…” Shiro’s voice dwindled into a placid cry, Yukio gnawing his lip to keep his eyes from soaking. _ _ _ _

_____Why is he crying?_ Yukio couldn’t read his father, he never could. _A grown man weeping, a man_ , Yukio thought. _Men couldn't cry so nonchalantly only a woman could.__ _ _ _

____It bothered Yukio to an endless extent that his father was showing such a vulnerable side._ _ _ _

____“I...” Yukio hesitated, his shifting gaze struggling to find a place to settle in. “... I didn’t think you’d react like this.”_ _ _ _

____“... Go to your room, Yukio.”_ _ _ _

____The brunet sucked in a sharp breath, dropping his head. “... Okay,” he murmured, stepping out from the kitchen and left his father._ _ _ _

____As Yukio made it for the stairwell, he saw several people peeking from the top of it, Shura, with the rest of the monastery, all easy dropping. His brows furrowed, but to keep away from any awkward explanations, he meekly darted his gaze away from them._ _ _ _

____Seishiro sighed, shuffling around the bunch of exorcists, and starting past Yukio. “Let me go check on your father,” he grumbled out, a pang of guilt hitting hard at the brunet._ _ _ _

____Shura stifled a yawn, groaning as she ushered everyone away. “Alright boys, let’s head back to bed,” she said softly, the group silently obeying. The stairwell was instantly cleared, with only Shura’s figure blocking entry. “Well,” she said._ _ _ _

____“Y’er coming up or not?”_ _ _ _

____Yukio’s eyes burned, and his fists trembled. He wanted to collapse under the weight of all his lies, Yukio couldn’t understand why he couldn’t find truth in his words. They just refused to tell anything but the truth._ _ _ _

____His throat tightened as he raised his head, meeting Shura’s blank expression. Yukio began hurriedly up the stairs, slipping past the woman’s pitiful gaze, and down the corridor._ _ _ _

____Reaching the safety of his bedroom, Yukio pressed his door closed, slumping against it with his head raised. Swiftly batting his eyes, Yukio stared uselessly at his ceiling, scornfully trying to keep his eyes from watering._ _ _ _

_____Stop it. You’re not allowed to cry, you’re not a kid. You’re not a kid._ _ _ _ _

____Yukio breathed a shaky sigh as he got onto his feet, working his way to his bed, discarding his coat, and white-T, in a small mound off to the side. He surrendered to his bed sheets, his head weighing into the mattress._ _ _ _

____His heavy eyes urged him to sleep, to shift into the realm of internal dream. Only there he’d be able to outrun all of life’s misfortunes._ _ _ _

____Sudden warmth invaded Yukio’s chest, jerking him awake when a jolt of fear struck it. Yukio shot up, the budded cross dangling around his neck, pulsing heat in an almost heart-beat manner._ _ _ _

____Its crevices flooded with smoldering streams of gold, making a panic rush through Yukio’s veins._ _ _ _

_____“Ah, hah… I’m trapped again…”_ _ _ _ _

____Yukio’s throbbing heart was going to burst, so he worked it to the darkest corners of his thoughts._ _ _ _

____It was him again, the iron cross spitting a familiar heat into his chest. The blaze wasn’t one of sweet comfort, but, one of desperate hope, as if the voice was trying to cling to nothingness._ _ _ _

_____“I don’t want to sleep… I’m afraid I’ll wake up the next time I do.”_ _ _ _ _

____Yukio’s heart lurched from his chest, his trembling hands squeezing the piece of metal. Why did the statement trouble his breaths?_ _ _ _

____Yukio freed a hand, only to massage his temples with rest. The more he thought of the words striking at him, the more his stomach rolled with a sense of alarm. _Relax, it’s your sleep-deprived state messing with you.__ _ _ _

_____“Y- Yukio, please…”_ _ _ _ _

_____Rin!!!_ _ _ _ _

____Yukio’s subconscious cried as it frantically split open. It was too much, Yukio could no longer bear avoiding the voice that’d been calling out to him._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” Yukio murmured to the shivering cross, pressing it toward his lips. And for a moment, the frightening heat surging within the gold rivers, came to ease, spewing strings of relief throughout Yukio’s palm._ _ _ _

____It-- it was almost therapeutic._ _ _ _

____Then it was gone. Once luminescent with gold, the budded cross’s blaze died out, returning to its average metal._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _So, how'd you guys enjoy my hiatus ',:) I'm sure you all just loved it. Anyhow, this chapter is written from another POV because, well, I'm indecisive-- which really isn't a good thing because it's just going to confuse you all, but skjdfakja;lasdj;w I apologize in advance :( this chapter is separated into two parts because I thought I should give you guys a portion of the chapter at least instead of being dead for another forty years. sorry for how short it is :') but I'll repay you all with the rest of it :D that's all to say on the matter, till then~_


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